I think we all reach an age where we reminisce about days gone by and experiences we once had. I was hit with that again today as I watched someone banging away on an old typewriter on television.
When I was in college and grad school, the Internet didn’t exist. I spent many hours in the library pouring through professional journals and searching through microfiche. How dizzying it was to move from article to article on the microfiche reader. And then there were my typewriters along the way: nonelectric, electric, electronic. It’s a wonder I didn’t suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome!
I finally purchased my first computer when I was writing my Masters’ thesis. It was little more than a word processor. Oh the hours I spent in front of that green screen after work each day. It’s a good thing I was much younger. I doubt I could survive the hours I put in leading up to defending my thesis and the binding of the final product if it were happening today.
I only spent a year in the classroom but it took me six years plus an extension to complete my degree. I got hung up on the writing. It was ironic when my thesis advisor told me I was a good writer. How could I possibly be good at something that was so inexpressibly difficult for me?
I didn’t have the self confidence to believe I had anything original to contribute. Every word brought anguish and vulnerability. I could write in journals with ease because I knew no one else would ever peruse those pages. Putting words on paper for someone to read and evaluate - much less grade - made me feel exposed. While I could probably track down the reasons why I felt so defenseless, I don’t think it would serve any purpose.
Even now, I feel vulnerable when I put something on my blog or share something I’ve written with a friend. I don’t think anything makes me feel so at risk. But I persist because I know I am meant to, it is part of my purpose.
How many of us feel unbelievably exposed in doing the very thing we were created to do? It is then we must to rely on the Spirit of the Living God to carry us. We were never intended to do it on our own. Our giftings are an expression of our Heavenly Father, to be used to glorify Him.
While the physical act of typing is a breeze compared to years gone by, baring my heart isn’t. I’ve gotten better but there still remains much room for improvement. Three times the Apostle Paul entreated the Lord to remove the thorn in his flesh. God’s response and Paul’s conclusion apply to all of us, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Yes, Lord, your grace is sufficient.
