My Growling Stomach

As I listen to my stomach growl I can't help but think what a good thing that is for me. For so much of my life I have sought comfort for my emotional and physical pain through food. I am rejoicing at the sound of healing!

In high school, Advanced Biology was right before lunch. I often skipped breakfast in those days. Well, one day we were all quietly reading in class and my stomach let out a growl a tiger would have been proud of! I was mortified. Our teacher looked up from what he was doing, opened a drawer in his desk and next thing I know there are Fig Newtons sitting atop my books! The young man sitting next to me literally fell out of his chair laughing. I wonder if he remembers...I sure do. It's too funny now! (I disliked Fig Newtons even before that experience!)

Let's face it, I have been blessed. Oh so very blessed. I haven't known what it is to do without, not really. No matter how difficult things have been throughout my life, there has always been food on the table, a roof over my head and clothes on my back. Thank you, Lord. Even when it felt like life was spinning out of control, You have provided all I have needed and much, much more.

We all go through things as kids. Whether at home or school, we know what it is to be called names, to have word curses unleashed on us. If you look at my maiden name, it doesn't take a lot of imagination to guess one of the tags I wore as a kid. And I did not have a gastro-intestinal problem!

I stink (no pun intended!) at sports, always have. I was often the last one to be chosen for a softball or volleyball team. It hurt but then again I would gladly give a speech in front of a bunch of people (2,000 is my maximum to date). God didn't wire me to spike a ball, He wired me to write and speak and encourage people. 

I lived under a spirit of fear for much of my life. I was afraid of who God created me to be, of what it required and of failure. I heard the words "you're stupid", "you're a moron", "you'll never amount to anything" echo in my head. I allowed those words to become my identity from the time I was little. Well...no more! I am free! Hallelujah!

God has work for me to do, work that He laid out before the foundations of the earth. I intend to follow through. No more hiding, no more cowering, no more excuses, no more turning to food for comfort, no more losing myself in TV or other idols. No more! This is a new day! I feel compelled, driven even. 

Yep, my stomach growled, a reminder of the healing God has done and the work I have yet to do for Him. Let's get started!

Playing Dress Up

Little girls like to play dress-up, at least I did. I’d slip my feet into my mother’s shoes, don a hat, pull on long gloves and wrap myself in necklaces (I discovered clip-on earrings hurt!). Then I’d prance around, so proud of my “look”. 

In grade school I discovered the joy of dramatic performances. Yes, I can be dramatic. For those of you who know me well, big surprise! I performed in one act plays and dramas for school and in 4-H. High school meant class plays and more one-act plays. As an adult, I had the privilege to be a part of the Menomonie Theater Guild and the Chippewa Valley Theater Guild. What fun! Musicals, comedies, mysteries – oh my!

I enjoyed comedies the most. Instantaneous laughter is the kind of feedback any performer lives for! It was a blast to speak in a British accent (and later to be told I had the best accent of the entire cast – ego feeding stuff, that!), to hit high notes I could only dream of now in Fiddler on the Roof. I could go on and on. I guess you could say I enjoyed playing dress up as an adult, too. The only time I’ve worn a fur was on stage – such fun!

Things went a step further when I agreed to write several short dramas for church. They depicted the challenges many people face at the holidays. I discovered I do not enjoy directing. It is too nerve wracking for me. I’d rather watch my words come to life without the stress of sound, lighting, lines, cues, sets, etc.  Let me write and/or act but don’t ask me to call the shots, please!

All this begs some questions, how often are we playing dress up in real life? Are we putting on a performance or being our authentic self? Are we telling people what they want to hear or sharing truth in love?

God intends that we live authentic lives, fulfilling the purposes He has for us. As children, many of us learned to tell people what they wanted to hear in our desire to please them. Many of us put on “masks” to protect ourselves. Let’s face it, there is risk involved in putting your real self out there.  Because of wounding and rejection, we may never let people see who we really are. But God sees.

He knows our hearts. He knows our fears. He knows our greatest desires. He knows our passions and our pains. He knows us better than anyone. Are we real with Him? Or do we prefer to play “dress-up” even with Him?

Do we really think we can hide anything from Him? More importantly, why would we want to? He loves us with everlasting, unconditional love. He knows where we’ve fallen short and all the times we’ve disappointed Him and yet He loves us beyond our imaginations. If we should be real with anyone, it’s our Heavenly Father.

Even though He knows everything there is to know about each of us, He longs for us to bring our fears, our vulnerabilities, our desires and our passions to Him. He longs for a relationship – to commune with us, to converse with us, to develop a sense of trust that cannot be dissolved or broken.

God’s love meant sacrificing His Son for our sin. Jesus sits at the right hand of God interceding for us – now that’s love! If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal savior, we’ve been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is bonded with our spirit to guide, comfort and encourage.  I know I don’t want to live this life without Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

So I encourage you to ask yourself, am I being real with God? Am I being my authentic true self, the me He created me to be? 

If you are still struggling with trusting Him, that’s OK. He knows you are struggling. He wants to meet you right where you are. He wants you to know that He is trustworthy.

Delve into God’s Word, the Holy Bible, to find His truths and to learn the depths of His love. The more you know Him, the more you will understand who you are. You can dress up for fun but you don’t have to live your life that way!

Blessings to you!

Linda

If you have a smart phone or tablet, you have access to plenty of Bible apps. I have used many translations and versions throughout my journey. As a lover of words, the Amplified Bible is a distinct favorite. If you are looking for a program so you can read and study The Bible on your laptop or home computer, Larry and I use e-Sword. It’s a free download. While it doesn’t have all the translations and versions of The Bible, it is excellent.