At His Feet

I awoke this morning feeling like I had run a marathon. My muscles and joints ached. And the migraine was still with me. Day three. 

I had a nice long conversation with my niece which always makes me feel better. But the migraine continued.

Well-meaning people are always happy to share what they've tried or heard of to cure a migraine.

Eat this.

Don't eat that.

Try this herb.

This essential oil works.

Etc.

Today, all I wanted to say was, "Peace. Be still." I'm not trying to offend anyone or place judgment, its just how I felt the Spirit was leading me today.

The lyrics of a Gospel single by Erica Campbell, "Just a Little More Jesus", kept running through my head. "I need just a little more Jesus. I need just a little more Jesus to help me on the way." The only thing was I needed A LOT more Jesus. 

I went to bed. No music. Just the fan on low and the sound of an almost too happy Chipping Sparrow below the window.

I calmed my spirit. And my mind.

And I put all the stuff that had been crowding my spirit and mind at the feet of Jesus. 

I curled up at His feet. No words were exchanged. I just lay there soaking in His Spirit. He infused or transfused my being. I soaked in whatever He had for me. I'm not sure how long I lay there, an hour or two at least. 

The pain was gone. And I felt refreshed.

The Great Physician did His work. I simply needed to be faithful to His leading.

A Shared Journey with Lyme Disease

Our journey has been short. Only eleven months, eleven life-altering months. Others have lived undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. I have been blessed.

I have not been in this alone. Sure, I’ve felt lonely but I have never been alone. Jesus and Larry have been with me every step of the way.

My greatest blessing on this earth is the wonderful man I have been privileged to call my husband for a little over twenty years.

I cannot imagine making this journey without him. He’s been right here with me…

…helping me to walk when I couldn’t on my own.

…pleading with me to eat when I simply had no energy to take even one bite.

…preparing and serving meals when he is clearly exhausted from his day at work.

…holding me as I cry in frustration, pain, loneliness or exhaustion.

…massaging my aching muscles.

…kissing my face and head to try to ease the pain of a migraine – the man’s kisses have miraculous qualities!

…giving me words and names when my brain just can’t come up with them.

…taking time off to drive me to appointments, to sit by my bedside, to pick me up physically and emotionally.

…taking my phone calls at work when I just need to hear his voice.

…being endlessly patient with me when I require more and more.

…praying with me and for me in the wee hours of the night when my pain is so intense I want to scream.

…reminding me it’s not my fault.

…encouraging me. Every. Single. Day.

…acting as my advocate with doctors and nurses.

…imploring me to not over-do whatever task I may take on. It is not in my DNA to take breaks, just get ‘er done! I’ve had to learn to pace myself. Many things just don’t get done. Our flower beds are a glaring reminder of my limitations.

…telling me it’s okay when the dishes crowd the counter tops, the mail has taken over the kitchen table, the laundry baskets are overflowing, the cat hair has taken on a life of its own, the carpets are disgusting and the bathroom desperately needs attention.

…whispering words of love and affirmation.

…telling me I’m beautiful when the mirror tells me a very different story.

I know this has been hard for him. It breaks his heart to see me in pain, struggling more on some days than others. He feels powerless much of the time. And that breaks my heart.

Even on my worst days, I remind myself that God has purpose in this. Lyme Disease may have transformed my daily life but Jesus is transforming my heart.

Prepare me, Lord, for whatever lies ahead. I know I am not alone. Thank you.