Transformed

© lindaclamb

Gratitude slipped down my checks saturating my pillow this morning as I considered all God has done.

He took a broken, wounded, flawed woman and gave her wings.

For much of my life, I felt like I didn’t fit. I don’t know if I’m a square or round peg (physically, definitely more round!), but I just didn’t fit into the expected holes set before me. In attempting to conform, I contorted myself into something I didn’t recognize. I hadn’t a clue what it was to be happy in my own skin let alone content.

A family friend, who spent at least a week every summer on our farm, once told my mother that I would be one to stop and smell the flowers along the way. She had me pegged. I could be a dreamer. I would escape into the hills with the dogs. I would talk to God, and give grand addresses with only the dogs, the cows, the wildlife, and insects as my audience. And I had no concept of the passage of time, which is still a challenge for me to this day. Just ask the friends I have l-o-n-g lunches with.

These proclivities were not well accepted in a work-oriented, clock-watching farm family. I think it would be fair to say I was misunderstood and I certainly didn’t understand myself.  I seemed to be much more like my maternal grandfather than either of my parents. I was an extrovert in a family of introverts. I was hushed…a lot.

As my Heavenly Father has revealed Himself to me, I have come to see myself as He sees me. I am loved with a pure, everlasting love. Through His lens, I see a creative person with messages to share that He has put on my heart. I am courageous and intelligent. I am a warrior and an intercessor. And I am a prophet.

Don’t be freaked out by that last sentence. It may be outside the teaching you’ve received. Simply put, I hear from God and He shows me things through pictures, dreams and visions. I thought I was the weirdest person alive until I understood how God had wired me. For years, I shut down my giftings out of fear. In recent years, I have learned to embrace the very things I feared.

Larry and I were blessed to be under the teaching of an apostle who espoused the five-fold ministry of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher (Ephesians 4:11). He was passionate about the need for each of these offices to be fully functioning NOW within the Body of Christ. What we learned under his leadership and teaching was invaluable.

And He gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.  Ephesians 4:11-16 ESV

My spirit had been repeatedly crushed as I journeyed though life. I only had my soul (my mind, my will and my emotions) to rely on – not a good thing! I had built boxes to confine the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It wasn’t until I was open to allowing His Spirit, the amazing gift Jesus left for us until His return, to expand and teach my spirit that real transformation began to happen.

My greatest desire is to be in His presence. 

• In His presence, miracles happen.
• In His presence, there is complete freedom. 
• In His presence, I learn and grow, and get out of my untrustworthy soul.
• In His presence, there is comfort and peace.
• In His presence, there is safety and security.
• In His presence, there is infinite love.
• In His presence, I commune with Him, often without words.
• In His presence, my worship is pure and focused.
• In His presence, I honor and glorify Him in ways my soul simply cannot express.
• In His presence, I am not a misfit. I am cherished and I have purpose.

 The song "Lost In His Presence", written by Vashawn Mitchell, says it so well.

If by chance you look for me and you cannot find me
Don't you worry, I'm alright
I am where I want to be

I am lost in His presence
I am consumed
By the glory of Jesus
The everlasting King

I'm rejoicing with the angels
Lifting my voice to sing
Of the power
Of the everlasting King

In His presence
In His presence
I'm honored to be in the presence of the King

I am here
Don't wanna leave
The presence of the King

And the icing on the cake is where God has placed us, at New Hope Christian Center in Orrville, Ohio. I feel like I have come home but it is unlike any home I have ever known. They welcomed and accepted us with open arms from our very first Sunday there. Their love is genuine, from the Source of all love.

-   Acceptance is huge for me, there is a lot more to that story. One day, there will be a book of my journey.  

In this body of believers, I feel the greatest freedom to be me. Our giftings are welcomed, encouraged and fostered. I feel like I have emerged from a chrysalis. It is here, I can fly.

And that is a great blessing.

 At last….