Mouse Adventures

My childhood was one of Disney and Mickey Mouse but I was scared to death of live mice. Whether it was the shock of their appearance out of no where or how quickly they moved, I'd scream every time!

Growing up on a dairy farm, mice were a reality. They liked the grain bin most of all - MRE's for mice! But I had to shovel from that grain bin every evening. Thank God for our dogs, barn cats and a good set of lungs!

I've had house cats for much of my adult life. For you non-cat people, cats like to bring their "trophies" to their owners. I don't necessarily mind this unless the darned thing is still alive. With four cats sharing our current home, escape is futile!

Eighteen months into our marriage, I accepted a position with a farm organization in New York state - over two hours from our home in Massachusetts. During the week, I had an apartment in a small town outside Albany. I spent the weekends at to our home in Mass. The long-distance commute life began (thankfully it only lasted for eighteen months). It was in that apartment that I became desensitized to mice.

To avoid being lonely, one of our cats made the commute with me.You should have seen the looks on the faces of the toll takers when I pulled up to the booths...shock, amazement, wonder. Curled up on my dash was a large, long-haired white cat with salmon colored spots! Rafferty loved to travel by car! Upon stopping, he'd usually lift his head, yawn and go right back to sleep.

I hadn't been in the apartment long when I noticed Rafferty's food dish was emptying all too quickly. Raff was never one to refuse a meal but his food was disappearing at an astounding rate. Couple that with all the noise I heard above my head as I sat in my recliner at night. There was a party going on, no humans (or cats) invited!

One evening, as Rafferty and I were snuggled up watching TV, we saw a mouse run along the baseboards. OK, so much for my concern of being lonely! The following night, Raff caught our furry little friend and dropped it at my feet. What happened next was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

The mouse stood up on its hind legs and read us the riot act. It may not have been in any human tongue but I recognized a serious chewing out when I heard one! The mouse looked at me, at Rafferty and back at me scolding the entire time. It really was quite comical! In our shock at the tongue lashing we had just received, we let the gray four-foot scurry away.

I named our sassy new flatmate Fat and Sassy. This mouse needed "The Biggest Loser" Rodent Edition! I could only deduce that Iams cat food was to him what chocolate was/is to me.

I came home from work one day to find blood everywhere...on the stairs, on the living room carpet, on the dining room vinyl, on the bathroom floor. The quantity was remarkable. My immediate thoughts were "Dear Lord, what happened here? Where's Rafferty? Did he hemorrhage all through the apartment?"

Well, Rafferty was fine. Fat and Sassy...not so much. Raff had won what must have been an epic battle. I found the dead body of our vocal, obese little friend in the bathroom. The next thing I did was just...well...silly.

Larry would always flush the skinny field mice our cats would bring into our home in Mass. (Our poor septic system!) Anyway, without even giving it a second thought, I decided I would dispose of Fat and Sassy in the same manner. Yep, you guessed it! That chubby little dude would not fit down the toilet...I had to fish it back out! Disgusting! My outside trash can became the only place I knew to stash the corpse.

My story of mice in this apartment is not yet complete. When Rafferty and I returned from a three day holiday weekend, we heard strange, pitiful noises coming from under the kitchen sink. My curiosity got the best of me.

I had emptied my tall kitchen trash bin before leaving for the weekend but appealing odors must have lingered. I opened the cupboard and tentatively peered into the trash bin. I couldn't believe my eyes!

Jaw dropping and eyes popping, I took in the skeletal remains of two mice and two other emaciated little bodies weakly crying for help. Getting into the trash bin had been a breeze but, due to its depth, escape was impossible. It was the Bonner Party mousy style - minus the snow!

I discovered a dead body in the trash bin one other time but there was only the single incident of cannibalism. And the nocturnal rodent parties ceased.

So it's pretty clear how I became desensitized to mice, isn't it? Rafferty has been gone for several years but our mouse adventures will always be with me. =^..^=

Are Buzzards Circling?

God created buzzards to consume dead things. If you have ever seen them circling in the sky, you know something is dead or dying below them. Death is a part of life, right? Right.

A couple of years ago, a flock of Canada geese landed in a farm field a few yards from our home. I noticed one goose appeared to be injured.  I watched from afar for a couple of days. One goose stayed with the injured goose. It never went far. Since Canada geese mate for life, I can only assume it was the injured goose’s mate.

I was concerned. I sent emails and left voice mails hoping someone could rescue this injured bird. No one got back to me. Eventually even the mate was gone.

Then I saw them, the buzzards. It began with one and all too quickly a dozen had converged on the very spot where I had last seen the injured Canada goose.

Buzzards are large and, let’s be honest, they are ugly. My first encounter was on a country road. We came over a hill and right before us were two of these big birds feasting on road kill. My husband slammed on the brakes. They didn’t move quickly. We got a look that spoke “Hey, we’re eating here!”  Eventually they lifted up on their mighty wings to let us pass. That was as close as I ever wanted to get to buzzards. They give me the creeps.

The gathering of these birds so close to our home made me uneasy. That uneasiness grew when they began to perch in the trees around our house: the one hundred year old silver maple, the black walnuts, the pines.  I felt a darkness descend.

Buzzards are unclean birds. In the spirit realm, they represent evil. At the time, I didn’t have my current understanding of the spirit realm or the authority I have in Christ.  Did I ask God what their presence meant? No. Did I command them to leave in the name of Jesus? No. I’d step outside waving my arms and yelling but it merely caused them to fly off only to return moments later. I began to accept their presence despite the sense of unease it brought, despite the death they represented.

That’s been an issue for me, accepting things as simply the realities of life. In the past, I’ve come into agreement with words that have been spoken over me, illness that has afflicted me, as well as situations and relationships that brought only pain.

I just didn’t know my authority to change the atmosphere around me. I found it difficult to accept all the things God had said about me, they were contrary to much of what I had known and experienced. I didn’t see myself as Jesus’ friend. He was mine but I didn’t see myself as His. I couldn’t recognize the enemy’s hand in my physical pain and the inevitable derailing it brought.

I agreed with things that brought death, death to my God-given purpose and death to my dreams. But I also recognized there were plenty of things that needed to die in my life so I could walk into the plans and purposes God has for me.

It was imperative that certain mind sets had to die. Depending on people and things for my happiness had to die. Self-reliance had to die.

Sure, there was discomfort. I was reluctant to release some things into God’s hands. I was like a child holding onto something for dear life, shaking my head, stomping my foot and proclaiming “No”! The Lord gently reminded me of His love and His desire for nothing but His best for me. How could I argue with that? I let go.

It’s been worth it to let go of those things in my life that brought only death.

It’s been worth it to step into the liberty that is only available through Jesus Christ.

I choose life…for my dreams, for my destiny, for God to work through me.

Are there things in your life that you need to release to God, things that only bring bondage and death? Does God need to burn away the chaff so He can use the seed He has planted in you? Will you let Him?

I encourage you to go to the Lord in prayer, to seek His face and ask Him what needs to go. Be honest with yourself. More importantly, be honest with Him.

Are buzzards circling? Are you going to choose death or choose life? 

Feathers

I awoke this morning thinking of hope.

My thoughts went to

-  an unemployed single mom who is struggling to keep it together.

-  a distant cousin whose life was uprooted recently only to have her husband laid off again in a different state, far, far away from all she has ever known.

-  a friend who was served divorce papers by the husband she loves so very much.

-  a deeply wounded friend who was physically and emotionally abused beyond my imagination as a child.

-  family and friends from both sides of the aisle who are living in fear of the outcome of the upcoming election.

Hope.

From the deep recesses of my mind came the Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) poem:

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

It is a beautiful poem but I beg to differ with dear Emily. Hope does ask “a crumb of me”, of all of us. It asks us to believe, to trust, to have faith.

What or who is the source of your hope?

During Hurricane Isaac, one of the Weather Channel’s meteorologists explained how different trees fare in the high gales of a tropical storm or hurricane. Nothing compares to the palm tree. It is resilient and pliable. Its root depth exceeds its height. God gave the palm tree such an amazing root system because He knew it would face storms.

Where is your hope rooted?

There will be gales in life. Storms that will knock us off our feet, take our breath away and leave us clinging to what we know to be true. Our truth is in Jesus Christ. We need to be deeply rooted in Him. He is our hope.

Spend time with Him in prayer and reading His Word. Get to know Him. Your hope will build, your roots will grow deeper. Fear will fade.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

He is faithful!

Psalm 91:4 brings us back to feathers. 

“With His feathers He will cover you, and under His wings you shall seek refuge; His truth is a shield and buckler.” (LITL)

If you are struggling with hope today, crawl under His wings. Let His feathers cover you and protect you. No greater shield exists.

The storm will pass. 

Hope will remain.

Bathing in God's Love

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! 1Chronicles 16:34 ESV

What does it mean to bathe in God's love? What does that look like? Here are my thoughts. There is no specific order to this, it's just how it came to me.

Bathing in God's love means recognizing who we are in Him. I am His beloved daughter. I am precious to Him. I am loved beyond measure. I have a purpose.

Parking my heart and mind on His love brings stillness and peace. I just close my eyes and let Him wash me with the Truth of His love. I may grab hold of a Bible verse that resonates with me on a given day and marinate in it. New revelation and greater depths of understanding usually accompany these precious times.

One such verse is Zephaniah 3:17: "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." 

Humbling. Astounding. Embracing. God's love is all of these and so much more.

Secondly, bathing in God's love means reflecting on His promises. I choose to reflect on the promises in God's Word, The Bible, and the prophetic words that have been spoken over me that God has confirmed. I get so excited it causes me to dance - on my feet or in my mind, it doesn't matter!

I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love--not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:38-39 CEV  

Nothing can separate me from God's love - nothing! Now that is something to celebrate! 

Thirdly, bathing in God's love means focusing on Him. The "stuff" of life has a way of sucking life out of us and diverting our eyes from the One who brought us life. The enemy has us deceived into thinking we should focus on what he is doing. We must be aware and take authority, but our eyes need to be kept on our triune God: our Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

I've known incredible physical pain. I've lived with/through health issues that have drawn my focus to myself. It's a miserable way to live. I have moved out of that place. No "for sale" sign was posted. I just boarded it up and abandoned it. I've asked God to destroy it, that place where I've gone to wallow, to escape, to isolate myself. If I am to fulfill all the purposes He has for my life, I have to be free to focus on Him. So I've flung that prison door open and walked out into the freedom that is only available through Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!  

Finally, bathing in God's love means worship. I love to worship. It is one of my favorite things. There is a connection that takes place through worship, a oneness with God. I was created to worship, we all were. To raise my arms toward heaven with a huge smile on my face, tears streaming down my cheeks, my feet moving to the beat and songs of praise being released from my inner being - woo hoo! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Corporate worship at our church home, Bethel Cleveland, is like being infused. We come away refreshed, ignited and excited for what is next. The classes there have the same effect. We are where God wants us to be. Praise God!

We are bathing in His love! Care to join us?

I Choose Victory!

As I was praying this morning, God revealed how I have allowed fear to bind me throughout my life. A picture came into my mind. I was blindfolded, gagged, handcuffed and bound about my ankles. I was in complete and total bondage due to fear. How effective can I be for God’s Kingdom when fear has me in complete bondage? Highly ineffective!

As tears streamed down my face, I repented of being in agreement with fear. I thanked God for the victory I have in Jesus. Without Him, I can do nothing. (Jesus words: “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. “ John 15:5 ESV)

Fear was modeled for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love my parents dearly. I hold nothing against them. Fear was modeled for them as well. They love the Lord. But, like so many believers I know, they are still living in bondage to fear. It breaks my heart and keeps me on my knees.

I grew up on a dairy farm. All the crops we grew were for the cows’ consumption. Milk production was everything. It was our livelihood, the bottom line.

Out of all the occupations out there, farming requires complete dependence on God. He supplies the sunshine. He provides the rain. He determines the yield. To be a farmer who lives in peace, one must be at peace with The One who is in control...of everything.

Much of my parents’ farm is sand. When I was eight, we moved from my grandparents’ farm of rich, dark soil. If there was a problem with that land, it was that it could be too wet. Not so with sand. As I was growing up, we lived through five years of drought. Financially, it takes five years to recover from one year of drought. The fear was palpable. Every day.

For those of you who do not know me, I am a talker. I never knew what kind of trouble my mouth would get me into on a given day. If I said the wrong thing, I would either put my mother into tears or set my dad off. I’ll never forget my father’s reaction when he was lamenting about the condition of the crops and I asked, “Dad, where is your faith?” Good thing we were in the car because I really stuck my foot in it that day! I intended the words in love but I expect my words hit home like an arrow.

Our pets and the beautiful hills were my refuge. I would talk to God as the dogs and I walked the hills. I would lose complete track of time. (I still am challenged by that today!) I knew God wanted to use me, that He had a plan for my life. And I confess, fear kept me from it until recently.

Fear was a constant companion for much of my life. I am no longer willing to allow it to bind me, to control me. I am so done with fear! I choose freedom and victory!

Over the past two years I have undergone numerous medical tests. They have all come back negative, every single one. Fear was taking me down paths God never intended. And to His glory, I am healthy. He has healed me inside and out. Now I have to walk it out. I must stay in agreement with what He says and not slip into the ever-familiar agreement with fear. To God be the glory forever and ever!

In this election year, I see people reacting in fear to nearly everything. I choose not to be fearful. I choose to rest in the Lord, to pray each day for His will to be done. May His mighty hand move across this land. May His Truth prevail. May we experience revival as a nation. Have Your way, Lord!

I do not know who reads my blog. I am sure there are those who think I spend way too much time talking about the Lord. The truth is, I am His child. I have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ.

I am not only a believer, I am a doer of God’s will. I strive to live a life that honors God. I endeavor to be Christ-like in my dealings with people. I am learning and growing. I am a work in progress. Some days are better than others. I sin. I fail. However, I cannot separate myself from my love of Jesus Christ, my awe and wonder at the Father’s love, and my need for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. My faith is who I am.

I can’t remember if it was the high school yearbook or newspaper staff that wrote the prophecies for the graduating seniors. It doesn’t matter. My prophecy was that I would be a missionary. In many ways I am, from right here in our home. I am humbled.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV

  

My Growling Stomach

As I listen to my stomach growl I can't help but think what a good thing that is for me. For so much of my life I have sought comfort for my emotional and physical pain through food. I am rejoicing at the sound of healing!

In high school, Advanced Biology was right before lunch. I often skipped breakfast in those days. Well, one day we were all quietly reading in class and my stomach let out a growl a tiger would have been proud of! I was mortified. Our teacher looked up from what he was doing, opened a drawer in his desk and next thing I know there are Fig Newtons sitting atop my books! The young man sitting next to me literally fell out of his chair laughing. I wonder if he remembers...I sure do. It's too funny now! (I disliked Fig Newtons even before that experience!)

Let's face it, I have been blessed. Oh so very blessed. I haven't known what it is to do without, not really. No matter how difficult things have been throughout my life, there has always been food on the table, a roof over my head and clothes on my back. Thank you, Lord. Even when it felt like life was spinning out of control, You have provided all I have needed and much, much more.

We all go through things as kids. Whether at home or school, we know what it is to be called names, to have word curses unleashed on us. If you look at my maiden name, it doesn't take a lot of imagination to guess one of the tags I wore as a kid. And I did not have a gastro-intestinal problem!

I stink (no pun intended!) at sports, always have. I was often the last one to be chosen for a softball or volleyball team. It hurt but then again I would gladly give a speech in front of a bunch of people (2,000 is my maximum to date). God didn't wire me to spike a ball, He wired me to write and speak and encourage people. 

I lived under a spirit of fear for much of my life. I was afraid of who God created me to be, of what it required and of failure. I heard the words "you're stupid", "you're a moron", "you'll never amount to anything" echo in my head. I allowed those words to become my identity from the time I was little. Well...no more! I am free! Hallelujah!

God has work for me to do, work that He laid out before the foundations of the earth. I intend to follow through. No more hiding, no more cowering, no more excuses, no more turning to food for comfort, no more losing myself in TV or other idols. No more! This is a new day! I feel compelled, driven even. 

Yep, my stomach growled, a reminder of the healing God has done and the work I have yet to do for Him. Let's get started!

Playing Dress Up

Little girls like to play dress-up, at least I did. I’d slip my feet into my mother’s shoes, don a hat, pull on long gloves and wrap myself in necklaces (I discovered clip-on earrings hurt!). Then I’d prance around, so proud of my “look”. 

In grade school I discovered the joy of dramatic performances. Yes, I can be dramatic. For those of you who know me well, big surprise! I performed in one act plays and dramas for school and in 4-H. High school meant class plays and more one-act plays. As an adult, I had the privilege to be a part of the Menomonie Theater Guild and the Chippewa Valley Theater Guild. What fun! Musicals, comedies, mysteries – oh my!

I enjoyed comedies the most. Instantaneous laughter is the kind of feedback any performer lives for! It was a blast to speak in a British accent (and later to be told I had the best accent of the entire cast – ego feeding stuff, that!), to hit high notes I could only dream of now in Fiddler on the Roof. I could go on and on. I guess you could say I enjoyed playing dress up as an adult, too. The only time I’ve worn a fur was on stage – such fun!

Things went a step further when I agreed to write several short dramas for church. They depicted the challenges many people face at the holidays. I discovered I do not enjoy directing. It is too nerve wracking for me. I’d rather watch my words come to life without the stress of sound, lighting, lines, cues, sets, etc.  Let me write and/or act but don’t ask me to call the shots, please!

All this begs some questions, how often are we playing dress up in real life? Are we putting on a performance or being our authentic self? Are we telling people what they want to hear or sharing truth in love?

God intends that we live authentic lives, fulfilling the purposes He has for us. As children, many of us learned to tell people what they wanted to hear in our desire to please them. Many of us put on “masks” to protect ourselves. Let’s face it, there is risk involved in putting your real self out there.  Because of wounding and rejection, we may never let people see who we really are. But God sees.

He knows our hearts. He knows our fears. He knows our greatest desires. He knows our passions and our pains. He knows us better than anyone. Are we real with Him? Or do we prefer to play “dress-up” even with Him?

Do we really think we can hide anything from Him? More importantly, why would we want to? He loves us with everlasting, unconditional love. He knows where we’ve fallen short and all the times we’ve disappointed Him and yet He loves us beyond our imaginations. If we should be real with anyone, it’s our Heavenly Father.

Even though He knows everything there is to know about each of us, He longs for us to bring our fears, our vulnerabilities, our desires and our passions to Him. He longs for a relationship – to commune with us, to converse with us, to develop a sense of trust that cannot be dissolved or broken.

God’s love meant sacrificing His Son for our sin. Jesus sits at the right hand of God interceding for us – now that’s love! If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal savior, we’ve been given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is bonded with our spirit to guide, comfort and encourage.  I know I don’t want to live this life without Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

So I encourage you to ask yourself, am I being real with God? Am I being my authentic true self, the me He created me to be? 

If you are still struggling with trusting Him, that’s OK. He knows you are struggling. He wants to meet you right where you are. He wants you to know that He is trustworthy.

Delve into God’s Word, the Holy Bible, to find His truths and to learn the depths of His love. The more you know Him, the more you will understand who you are. You can dress up for fun but you don’t have to live your life that way!

Blessings to you!

Linda

If you have a smart phone or tablet, you have access to plenty of Bible apps. I have used many translations and versions throughout my journey. As a lover of words, the Amplified Bible is a distinct favorite. If you are looking for a program so you can read and study The Bible on your laptop or home computer, Larry and I use e-Sword. It’s a free download. While it doesn’t have all the translations and versions of The Bible, it is excellent.