As tears streamed down my face, I
repented of being in agreement with fear. I thanked God for the victory I
have in Jesus. Without Him, I can do nothing. (Jesus words: “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in
him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. “ John
15:5 ESV)
Fear was modeled for me. Don’t
get me wrong. I love my parents dearly. I hold nothing against them. Fear was
modeled for them as well. They love the Lord. But, like so many believers I know, they are still living in bondage to fear. It breaks my heart and keeps me on my knees.
I grew up on a dairy farm. All the crops we grew were for
the cows’ consumption. Milk production was everything. It was our livelihood,
the bottom line.
Out of all the occupations out there, farming requires complete
dependence on God. He supplies the sunshine. He provides the rain. He
determines the yield. To be a farmer who lives in peace, one must be at peace
with The One who is in control...of everything.
Much of my parents’ farm is sand. When I was eight, we
moved from my grandparents’ farm of rich, dark soil. If there was a problem
with that land, it was that it could be too wet. Not so with sand. As I was
growing up, we lived through five years of drought. Financially, it takes five
years to recover from one year of drought. The fear was palpable. Every day.
For those of you who do not know me, I am a talker. I never
knew what kind of trouble my mouth would get me into on a given day. If I said
the wrong thing, I would either put my mother into tears or set my dad off. I’ll never forget my father’s reaction when he was lamenting about the
condition of the crops and I asked, “Dad, where is your faith?” Good thing we
were in the car because I really stuck my foot in it that day! I intended the
words in love but I expect my words hit home like an arrow.
Our pets and the beautiful hills were my refuge. I
would talk to God as the dogs and I walked the hills. I would lose complete
track of time. (I still am challenged by that today!) I knew God wanted to use
me, that He had a plan for my life. And I confess, fear kept me from it
until recently.
Fear was a constant companion for much of my
life. I am no longer willing to allow it to bind me, to control me. I am so
done with fear! I choose freedom and victory!
Over the past two years I have undergone numerous medical
tests. They have all come back negative, every single one. Fear was taking me
down paths God never intended. And to His glory, I am healthy. He has healed me
inside and out. Now I have to walk it out. I must stay in agreement with what
He says and not slip into the ever-familiar agreement with fear. To God be the glory forever and ever!
In this election year, I see people reacting in fear to
nearly everything. I choose not to be fearful. I choose to rest in the Lord, to
pray each day for His will to be done. May His mighty hand move across this
land. May His Truth prevail. May we experience revival as a nation. Have Your
way, Lord!
I do not know who reads my blog. I am sure there are
those who think I spend way too much time talking about the Lord. The truth is, I am His
child. I have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ.
I am not only a believer, I am a doer of God’s will. I
strive to live a life that honors God. I endeavor to be Christ-like in my
dealings with people. I am learning and growing. I am a work in progress. Some
days are better than others. I sin. I fail. However, I cannot separate myself
from my love of Jesus Christ, my awe and wonder at the Father’s love, and my
need for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. My faith is who I am.
I can’t remember if it was the high school yearbook or newspaper
staff that wrote the prophecies for the graduating seniors. It doesn’t matter.
My prophecy was that I would be a missionary. In many ways I am, from right
here in our home. I am humbled.
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV
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