Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Choosing To Forgive


My extended family was peppered with unforgiveness. Grudges were held. Walls were built. Siblings didn’t speak to each other for years. And it bled with far reaching consequences.

Anger, hate and bitterness inhabited those places where love should have thrived.

Sadly, it survives today…eating away at the fabric of what should be a beautiful family tapestry. And I pray it will come to an end in my father’s lifetime. Oh how I long to see eyes filled with joy and peace instead of pain.

I learned unforgiveness. It was modeled for me. It had taken root generations before. 

I struggled under the burden of not only my “stuff” but that of all the people I loved. It was too much, far too much. It nearly destroyed my health and broke my heart over and over again.

It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I truly understood forgiveness and my role. It isn’t my job to hold others accountable for their actions. When I attempted to, I was actually imprisoning myself. It poisoned my life.

So I resigned.

I stepped down from the throne of justice I had erected. I threw my judicial robe and gavel in the trash.

I made a choice to allow God - the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - to be God in my life. My arrogant attempt at His role was fruitless, pathetic and pointless. I desired a clean slate with God and all the people I refused to forgive. Do I have relationship with all of those people? No and that’s OK. The most important thing is they are no longer held hostage by my unforgiving heart.

Unforgiveness imprisons us to our fears, our pasts, and our pain. Unforgiveness strips us of hope. It robs us of joy. It binds us in chains of bitterness. It is spiritual quick sand that will eventually swallow us physically and emotionally as well.

I’ve been reading a devotional by Corrie ten Boom, I Stand At The Door And Knock. She phrased it so beautifully when she wrote “If you don’t forgive, you break the bridge – the same bridge that you need as well.”

Just as we are commanded to love, we are commanded to forgive. “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37b “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. “  Matthew 6:14-15  Father, forgive me for my arrogance and my stubborn pride! I choose to forgive.

Let’s be honest. Life isn’t fair. It isn’t easy. The pain can be unbearable. But we are not alone. The Lord is with us every step of the way. And He will give us the grace required to forgive when we draw on His strength, His mercy and His love.

Could I have forgiven without the Lord’s help? It’s highly unlikely! All I could focus on was what they had done wrong. They didn’t deserve forgiveness…but then again, did I? A resounding NO! The Lord changed my focus. He changed my heart. Through His loving me, He taught me to love others. “We Love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

In the words of Corrie ten Boom, “Thank You, Father, that your love in me is stronger than my anger toward those who treated me so cruelly.” If we focus on Him and His love, we can forgive. We can extend what He extended to us through Christ Jesus.

As Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday are upon us, I encourage you to examine your heart. Forgive those who have hurt you. Set them free. And receive God’s forgiveness for yourself.

Ask God to reveal any unforgiveness that remains hidden in your heart, hidden from even you. Ask Him to remove it, right down to any microscopic roots. And fill the remaining void with love, His love. Soak in His love and experience the peace that passes all understanding.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5 ESV

God’s love has been poured into our hearts! Not drizzled or dripped – POURED! Hallelujah!

This old hymn came to mind:“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” (Helen Lemmel, 1922) Believe it! 

I choose to forgive. Will you?

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