Gold & Diamonds

I slipped upstairs for a nap yesterday afternoon but God had other plans. Larry and I had just viewed a Science Channel program on geology. Object lessons were flowing like molten lava in my mind. I should have brought the laptop with me to bed.

Here is a little peek at what God showed me.

Oil & Water People
I recently asked a friend about a mutual acquaintance from years ago. He said they were like oil and water. What a great picture! I'm borrowing it for the purposes of this post.

We all have oil and water people in our lives. You know, the ones that can make us a little crazy. We just don't mix. Just being around them can trigger things in us. Our buttons get pushed. They are the oil to our water or vice versa.

I have one or two such people in my life. Perhaps more. I dearly love one but in another case, I struggle. The wounds are deep. But God and I are working on it.

Like it or not, God has purpose in bringing and allowing oil and water people in our lives. They aren't there by chance or accident. 

Gold & Diamonds
Just as impurities in gold are brought to the surface by melting it, oil and water people bring our impurities to the surface. We may see things in ourselves that aren't pretty, things that need refinement.

We all have things in our lives that need to be removed so the beauty God has placed within us can be revealed to His glory.

Diamonds are produced through time, pressure and heat. To the untrained eye, a newly mined diamond may simply look like a rock of little value. But inside, there is breathtaking beauty that can only be revealed through masterfully cutting it, the hardest substance known to man.

Whether you see yourself as gold or a diamond, you are valued and valuable to the Kingdom of God. Father God established plans and purposes for you before the foundations of the earth. You matter. A lot!

This was a foreign concept to me until I could begin to see myself through the eyes of my husband and Jesus. It changed everything.

My Failure
Prior to the transforming power of love, I had failed in relationships of every kind. I had acted in ways that did not honor God. I used and abused people. I shut people out. I didn't know how to deal with disrespect, disappointment or inappropriate behavior so I'd shut down. I was cold, iceberg cold. I couldn't look at them let alone speak to them. But my actions or lack thereof spoke volumes.

I had become an oil and water person in the lives of others.

People who don't recognize their value, devalue others. I was living proof.

I had learned to cope by disengaging. I didn't know it then but I had bought into a lie straight from the enemy. I believed I could protect myself by disengaging and refusing to reengage. And it would be a nice bonus if my offenders suffered in the process. Sadly, this means of coping had been modeled for me through the generations. And I could never be accused of being a poor student.

I didn't know the joy and peace that accompany extending grace and forgiving others.

I was a mess. My heart was in tatters. But even the most tattered heart can be healed. Even the most guilty of sinners can be released from their bondage. Even the oil and water person who has caused you the most pain can become a cherished treasure.

My heart has been healed! I've been set free! I am in awe of the resurrecting power of love.

Love Led to Yes
The immensity of God's love led me to say "YES!" to Him, granting permission for Him to refine and cut as He sees fit. If I am to walk in the purposes He has for me, I must welcome removal and discard of those things within me that do not honor and glorify Jesus. And graciously allow Him to expose and polish those things within me that reflect Him.

Is the refining and cutting comfortable? No. But His love and gentleness make it bearable.

Prayer
So how do we deal with the oil and water people in our lives? The most valuable strategy God has given me is prayer.

If I know I am going to see or spend time with an oil and water person, I prepare through prayer. I may pray for days, perhaps weeks, even months. I ask God to prepare their heart but more importantly, I ask him to prepare mine.

The intimate nature of prayer changes my heart. I begin to see my oil and water person through the eyes of Jesus. My Father God provides enlightenment, revelation, wisdom and understanding. He teaches me to love.

I not only pray beforehand, I pray in the midst of my time with them. The bathroom is a great place to pray and bind unclean spirits! You don't have to be loud, barely audible gets the job done.

If I unexpectedly have face time with one of my oil and water people (i.e. running into someone at the store), I pray right on the spot. They don't know but I'm praying my heart out! "Lord, give me the words to speak. Help me to reflect the You in me. Show me how to love them and encourage them. Help me so I don't blow this!"

More Strategies
There are more strategies that help me in dealing with what Rick Warren calls "extra grace required" people. My list includes forgiveness, worship, time in God's Word, community, and maintaining a heart of gratitude. In other words, many of the things we should consistently be engaging in as a part of our faith journey.

Each of these strategies provides key pieces. Prayer brings intimacy and heart change. Forgiveness brings freedom and perspective. Worship brings agreement with God in mind, soul and spirit. Time in the Word brings enlightenment, understanding and wisdom. Community brings encouragement, refinement and spiritual muscle-building. A heart of gratitude brings focus and joy.

God's love has taught me to love, to look for the deposits He has placed within the challenging people in my life, my oil and water people. Those seams of gold or the promise of an uncut diamond are there - perhaps deeply hidden - but of great, great value. After all, He loves my oil and water people just as much as He loves me.

Process
We're all in different places in the refinement and cutting processes. Some of us already reveal Jesus' reflection, just as refined gold mirrors the reflection of the refiner. Others of us have facets in our character, personality and giftings that gleam and glint in the light of the Son.

Still others of us may need a little more time, pressure and heat before we can be mined, purified or cut to our full potential. And that's OK. Our willingness to welcome the Refiner's fire and the Master's cutting tools are key. There is no better time than the present.

I am confident God has used oil and water people in the refining and cutting processes in my life. And He will use them again. Bring it on! 
(c)lclamb 2013