It's funny how our interests, priorities and desires change.
I used to love going to the mall. Not any more. I can honestly say I haven't been in a mall in years. Personally, I would rather have a tooth pulled!
I much prefer shopping online and paying for shipping.
Spare me the window displays designed to shame you into realizing your wardrobe is sorely lacking or cause any parent or grandparent to cover the eyes of the young ones in tow.
Spare me the food court that smells so tempting you resemble the old commercial of the dog being carried along on a wave of aroma until he reaches his culinary delight. Have I ever found healthy, organic choices in a food court? Never.
Spare me the young people just milling around with nothing better to do than hang out, gossip, bully and make inappropriate comments to members of the opposite sex. Get a job! Find a life! Go to church! I know a few farmers who would be happy to put you to work shoveling you know what. (I'm in a sassy mood today, can't you tell?)
Spare me fighting for my space. A mall during Christmas shopping season has the appeal of a ripe banana that has been run over by a manure spreader.
Spare me claustrophobic changing rooms that are meant for a pre-teen, not a plus-sized middle-ager.
Spare me scantily clad women who put their breasts on display for all to see. My breasts belong to my husband. If they are in the least bit visible, it is a clothing malfunction. (If you see the girls are a peekin', for goodness sake, tell me!) Keep your breasts to yourselves, ladies, for all of our sakes.
Spare me trying to find my car in the super-sized, vehicle-filled mall parking lots. My first car was a bright yellow VW Beetle. Back in the late 70's and early 80's I could always find my cheery little car in a mall parking lot. Those days are long gone!
Spare me the little kids who have received so much sensory overload they have morphed into screaming, pleading, tormenting little creatures who make you want to use duct tape in some very creative ways.
Spare me the frazzled moms and dads who thought a trip to the mall would be a fun outing with the kids but they have reached a point of saturation where they can no longer function. You can see it in their eyes. They've become pod people.
Spare me the traffic around the mall, any mall. And the drivers! Does something come over people so they suddenly forget any driving skills they had once had? And all courtesy goes right out the window!
Enjoy the mall, if that's your thing. But please, spare me. I'll be at home. Cozy and happy.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
His Plans
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
This beautiful verse has long been a favorite of mine. I can immerse myself in it for hours, days even.
I know too well what it is to rely on my plans. Flawed. Short-sighted. Incomplete. Selfish. And often empty.
But His plans? His plans give me such joy! I rejoice at His plans. Complete. Perfect. Drenched in love. Focused on Christ and all those He dearly loves.
I don't have to face His plans with apprehension or fear. He will supply all I need. With my eyes on Him, I can face anything. He has proven Himself faithful through it all. And oh so trustworthy.
There have been plenty of times I have felt set-aside due to physical limitations. I've wallowed and felt sorry for myself. But God taps me on the shoulder and whispers gentle reminders of all I can do.
I can still write.
I can still reach out.
I can still encourage.
I can still bring laughter.
I can still uplift.
I can still love.
I can still intercede.
The list goes on.
What a privilege to fulfill even a small part of the plans He has for me right from my home.
Okay, now I'm crying tears of gratitude at the awesome God I love and serve.
Thank you, Lord, for all I can do. Your plans...yes, Your plans, Lord.
This beautiful verse has long been a favorite of mine. I can immerse myself in it for hours, days even.
I know too well what it is to rely on my plans. Flawed. Short-sighted. Incomplete. Selfish. And often empty.
But His plans? His plans give me such joy! I rejoice at His plans. Complete. Perfect. Drenched in love. Focused on Christ and all those He dearly loves.
I don't have to face His plans with apprehension or fear. He will supply all I need. With my eyes on Him, I can face anything. He has proven Himself faithful through it all. And oh so trustworthy.
There have been plenty of times I have felt set-aside due to physical limitations. I've wallowed and felt sorry for myself. But God taps me on the shoulder and whispers gentle reminders of all I can do.
I can still write.
I can still reach out.
I can still encourage.
I can still bring laughter.
I can still uplift.
I can still love.
I can still intercede.
The list goes on.
What a privilege to fulfill even a small part of the plans He has for me right from my home.
Okay, now I'm crying tears of gratitude at the awesome God I love and serve.
Thank you, Lord, for all I can do. Your plans...yes, Your plans, Lord.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Choose Joy
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is
fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11 ESV
I have a laugh. Perhaps a laugh-and-a-half.
I’ve been blessed with a contagious laugh that seizes
attention, turns heads and transforms faces.
My laugh is a gift, to others and to me. I don’t
apologize for it. It is just so…well…me.
Have I been shushed? Countless times since my laugh
does not have a volume control and the mute button is permanently broken.
While in college, I worked at a grocery store. As a
coworker and I stocked shelves, we overheard a customer say, “It sounds like
someone is laying eggs in the next aisle.” Of course they were referring to me
and my laughter. And that comment took it to a new level. I suspect they could
then hear me throughout the store. (Really? I sounded like a chicken laying an
egg? Hmm.)
Have people been embarrassed by my laugh? Yes. Sad but
true.
When I asked my husband if my laugh embarrasses him, he
smiled and said “No, I am proud of you and
your laugh.” Love my man!
I will never forget a banquet I attended at a lovely,
famous restaurant in Kansas City, Missouri. (Do you think I can remember the
name of it now? Of course not!). When our speaker came to the microphone, the first
words out of his mouth were, “I don’t know about the rest of you but I wish I
was at that table.” All heads turned to the table where I sat with seven others.
Had we laughed? Oh my, yes! Loudly. With Abandon. (The events at that table were
hilarious. Perhaps I will share them with all of you one day.)
I was touched when a pastor told me he needed a
recording of my laugh. Apparently my laugh floated down the hall causing his
assistant to laugh which in turn made him laugh. Yep. I was responsible for
creating laugh chains - even with the office door shut. He wanted the laughter
to continue even as I was moving on to something new. Sweet!
We laugh a lot at our house. Chuckles. Belly laughs.
Guffaws. Snorts. You name the laugh, our lives are generously sprinkled with each
and every one.
Joy ministers to others. During my five day hospital
stay this past June, nurses told us they loved coming to my room. They told us
it was peaceful and joyful. Prayer and joy had changed the atmosphere. Oddly
and quite wonderfully, my sense of humor remains intact even when I am in pain
or terribly sick. Larry could tell you stories.
One of the prayers of my heart is for the return of
laughter to my parents’ home. My father’s health limits him from doing most of
the things that gave his life purpose and joy. It breaks my heart. Phone
conversations with my mother include plenty of laughter. She needs it but oh
how I wish I lived closer.
Perhaps I need to pursue making a laughing tool. A
laugh would be produced by turning it over. I had something like it that
sounded like a calf…which always made me laugh!
If laughter is lacking in your life or your home, I
encourage you to choose joy. Surround yourself with music that brings joy and
people who make you laugh. Seek out and display joyful scriptures. Spend time
in the presence of the Lord.
Joy is not dependent on circumstances. It is a state of
being, a confidence and peace that accompany knowing the One who loves you
with an everlasting love. It comes with resting in His presence and trusting
Him fully.
As you rise each morning, I encourage you to choose joy
(Psalm 30:5).
For You, O
LORD, have made me glad by Your work; at the works of Your hands I sing for
joy. Psalm 92:4 ESV
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Firmly Planted in Love
People don't want to hear it. They don't want to know that a woman who aborted her only natural child feels fragile and vulnerable on Mother's Day.
Women struggling with infertility, miscarriage or loss of a child would rather she just keep her mouth shut. I can't blame them. Not one bit.
But I need to be honest, real with you.
For me, Mother's Day has been the most difficult day of the year. For more years than I care to count, I have preferred to stay home from church on Mother's Day. It was just too painful to hear "Happy Mother's Day!", words that plunged a knife into the very depths of my being.
There are times in our lives when grief thrusts to the surface, nearly strangling us with its force. In my case, the grief was accompanied by deep, suffocating shame. That's been Mother's Day for me.
But the story is not over.
I have been on a faith journey for years. Is Jesus a gentleman? Oh yes! His patience is astounding. His love has beckoned me to give Him more, to allow Him to gently peel back layer upon layer of my pain, my shame, my self-hatred. Trusting Jesus has been life-saving and life-altering.
I've gone through seasons of emotional healing. This past year has been the most significant of those seasons. Jesus has liberally applied His blood to my heart, my mind and my spirit.
I've been transformed by a merciful, gracious and loving God.
"To grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3 ESV
So this year, I welcome Mother's Day. I will graciously receive the Happy Mother's Day greetings with a smile and a happy heart.
And I will stand, an oak of righteousness firmly planted in love.
Women struggling with infertility, miscarriage or loss of a child would rather she just keep her mouth shut. I can't blame them. Not one bit.
But I need to be honest, real with you.
For me, Mother's Day has been the most difficult day of the year. For more years than I care to count, I have preferred to stay home from church on Mother's Day. It was just too painful to hear "Happy Mother's Day!", words that plunged a knife into the very depths of my being.
There are times in our lives when grief thrusts to the surface, nearly strangling us with its force. In my case, the grief was accompanied by deep, suffocating shame. That's been Mother's Day for me.
But the story is not over.
I have been on a faith journey for years. Is Jesus a gentleman? Oh yes! His patience is astounding. His love has beckoned me to give Him more, to allow Him to gently peel back layer upon layer of my pain, my shame, my self-hatred. Trusting Jesus has been life-saving and life-altering.
I've gone through seasons of emotional healing. This past year has been the most significant of those seasons. Jesus has liberally applied His blood to my heart, my mind and my spirit.
I've been transformed by a merciful, gracious and loving God.
"To grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified." Isaiah 61:3 ESV
And I will stand, an oak of righteousness firmly planted in love.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Now What?
The events of this week in Boston, Cambridge and Watertown, Massachusetts and in West, Texas have shaken our nation.
Lives lost, others transformed forever. People still missing.
To what or whom do we cling at these times?
Do we allow these events to pull us down into darkness, drinking of the cup of hopelessness, entertaining the emptiness of fear?
Do we cry out to God or stay glued to the endless hours of television coverage?
Do we feel touched, changed even? Now what?
In our home, we cling to Jesus and each other. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
We've watched in horror from our safe place here in rural Ohio. We aren't aware of knowing anyone touched by these events. We met and were married in Massachusetts. Larry lived in Texas for several years. That is as close as it comes. But it still feels close, too close. Too real.
Our loved ones are alive and safe. We aren't living the heart-wrenching anguish of waiting for word - any word - on a loved one who is still missing.We aren't in the midst of grieving and planning a funeral for someone we never dreamed we would have to live without.
Our bodies' are intact. We don't have to mourn the loss of a limb or limbs. We don't have to learn how to walk all over again on legs that have to be strapped on each morning. Or learn to make our way in a wheelchair, taking the world on from a seated position.
Our home has not been lost to fire or blown to bits from an explosion. It is intact, whole, unchanged. We don't have to worry about our address being remembered or for owning a boat that provided refuge to a terrorist.
Larry still has a job to go to on Monday. It wasn't blown off the face of the earth by a force that was felt fifty miles away.
We don't have to live in disbelief that someone we thought we knew allowed hate to shape them, morphing them into people capable of committing horrendous acts.
We could go on with our lives unchanged by the events of this week. We could just chalk it up to "life" and act like nothing happened.
We could but that would be a waste. Of lives. Of hopes. Of dreams.
Let us choose to pray.
Pray more fervently for our nation.
Pray for the love of Christ to permeate even the hardest of hearts.
Pray for hope to be tangible in the lives of those who have lost so much.
Pray for peace to reign even through hardship.
Pray that God will birth something truly amazing out of the ashes of this week.
Pray, my friends, pray.
Lives lost, others transformed forever. People still missing.
To what or whom do we cling at these times?
Do we allow these events to pull us down into darkness, drinking of the cup of hopelessness, entertaining the emptiness of fear?
Do we cry out to God or stay glued to the endless hours of television coverage?
Do we feel touched, changed even? Now what?
In our home, we cling to Jesus and each other. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
We've watched in horror from our safe place here in rural Ohio. We aren't aware of knowing anyone touched by these events. We met and were married in Massachusetts. Larry lived in Texas for several years. That is as close as it comes. But it still feels close, too close. Too real.
Our loved ones are alive and safe. We aren't living the heart-wrenching anguish of waiting for word - any word - on a loved one who is still missing.We aren't in the midst of grieving and planning a funeral for someone we never dreamed we would have to live without.
Our bodies' are intact. We don't have to mourn the loss of a limb or limbs. We don't have to learn how to walk all over again on legs that have to be strapped on each morning. Or learn to make our way in a wheelchair, taking the world on from a seated position.
Our home has not been lost to fire or blown to bits from an explosion. It is intact, whole, unchanged. We don't have to worry about our address being remembered or for owning a boat that provided refuge to a terrorist.
Larry still has a job to go to on Monday. It wasn't blown off the face of the earth by a force that was felt fifty miles away.
We don't have to live in disbelief that someone we thought we knew allowed hate to shape them, morphing them into people capable of committing horrendous acts.
We could go on with our lives unchanged by the events of this week. We could just chalk it up to "life" and act like nothing happened.
We could but that would be a waste. Of lives. Of hopes. Of dreams.
Let us choose to pray.
Pray more fervently for our nation.
Pray for the love of Christ to permeate even the hardest of hearts.
Pray for hope to be tangible in the lives of those who have lost so much.
Pray for peace to reign even through hardship.
Pray that God will birth something truly amazing out of the ashes of this week.
Pray, my friends, pray.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
I Am Not A Cow
I grew up on a dairy farm in America's Dairyland, Wisconsin. I am proud of my agricultural roots and I have profound respect for farmers.
Here's a little lesson for those of you who do not know. Cows are judged by their outward appearance, their conformation (muscular and skeletal structure). In the case of dairy cows, they are also judged by the amount of milk they produce.
Appearance and production...hmm. Sounds a lot like we humans. The world only seems to care about how we look, what we do and how much money we make. What about the conformation of our hearts, our souls, and our minds? Do we strive to conform, to be "normal" or are we satisfied being uniquely different?
(Hint: a cookie cutter Christian I am not. If that's what you're looking for, save yourself some time and stop reading.)
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Freedom Not Perfection
What gave me the courage to step out? What gave me the freedom to begin to live the life the Father had planned for me? My desire to honor and glorify God is stronger than my apprehension and fears. And the realization that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13 ESV
The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him. Psalm 28:7 ESV
Do I feel those old insecurities at times? Of course, but I then remember to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Have I encountered opposition? Absolutely, on every front imaginable but I persevere. Some days are better than others. Some days I can stand victoriously and some days I struggle. It is a battle. But I know who wins the war!
We've each been created as a special blend, a blessed combination of qualities and giftings. Conforming to the world changes the blend, the uniqueness, the specialness that God has placed in us. It limits us and what we have to offer. Why should I settle for a black tea when I have a cupboard stocked with the rich English Breakfast blend?
Life often distorts our view of ourselves but God delights in restoring truth. He is in the beauty from ashes business. No matter what path we have taken or how far from God we may have run, He can bring resurrection to our gifts and calling. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Romans 11:29 They are a permanent part of our being. Nothing can strip them from us, nothing. Hallelujah!
So, do we deny the gifts He has placed in us to pursue conformity? Do we reject the calling He has on our lives? Do we miss out on the blessing of being His ambassador, His hands and feet?
Heads up! If we don’t fulfill our plans and purposes, someone else will be given the honor and privilege of carrying them out. The Kingdom of God will move forward with or without us. I know I don't want to be left behind.
I am not a cow. I refuse to conform to the world's standards. I embrace the purposes of the Lord, the uniqueness He has placed within me. And I honor the uniqueness He has placed within each of you.
Let's get to work!
Here's a little lesson for those of you who do not know. Cows are judged by their outward appearance, their conformation (muscular and skeletal structure). In the case of dairy cows, they are also judged by the amount of milk they produce.
Appearance and production...hmm. Sounds a lot like we humans. The world only seems to care about how we look, what we do and how much money we make. What about the conformation of our hearts, our souls, and our minds? Do we strive to conform, to be "normal" or are we satisfied being uniquely different?
(Hint: a cookie cutter Christian I am not. If that's what you're looking for, save yourself some time and stop reading.)
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
My Reality
I tried to be normal, I really did. I always felt different, misunderstood. I was the square peg. And that round hole? Didn't fit! Childhood was rough. My teen years were miserable. Adulthood - until recent years - was confusing and very painful. I went through depression several times. At one point the enemy had convinced me that I was seriously mentally ill. It was a lie!
I tried to be normal, I really did. I always felt different, misunderstood. I was the square peg. And that round hole? Didn't fit! Childhood was rough. My teen years were miserable. Adulthood - until recent years - was confusing and very painful. I went through depression several times. At one point the enemy had convinced me that I was seriously mentally ill. It was a lie!
For much of my life, I was hungry. Hungry for love. Hungry to be understood. Hungry to be accepted, weirdness and all. Once I knew the love of God, my hunger was refocused. I became hungry for more of God. Hungry to know Jesus more intimately. Hungry for greater understanding and revelation. Hungry to go deeper, and then deeper still.
How cool is it that God brought Larry into my life? We each bring our own set of weirdness to our marriage! And we are thrilled with that. We complement each other well in our personalities, our giftings and our weirdness. God knew what He was doing!
As we have pursued God, He has revealed who we are in Him and what purpose He has for each of our lives. It has been amazing! I am so proud of my godly, righteous husband. He is a gifted teacher of the Word. I've been thrilled to encourage Larry in his giftings and calling. But when God began to give me glimpses about myself, I couldn’t take it in. It scared me to death. I tried to run from it, stuff it and ignore it.
The reaction of people to the revelation of the real me has been...well...interesting. Some people recognized it long before I did. Some have been challenged by it. Others have tried to discourage me. And still others have outright denied it to be true. You see, I didn't fit the mold. I was way outside the box.
Doubt and confusion crept in. And the fear of getting it wrong. But God kept confirming who I am over and over again.
Hats off to my encouragers! More patient people do not exist on earth! They have hinted, reminded, pushed, pulled, even dragged me through the last ten years. Until I was out of excuses. It was time to move the gear shift from park to drive. Time to take the road God laid out for me instead of the relatively "normal" trail I had chosen.
So what is this road God has me on? He has given me a voice and a platform. Through writing and speaking, I am declaring His truth and the freedom available through Jesus Christ. He is calling me to help people see themselves as God sees them (I got a taste of this while working at a pregnancy center - mm hmm).
The Lord is calling me to fully develop the giftings He placed within me so I can run the race. I am no longer satisfied to sit on the sidelines. Or merely walk on the traditional track, dressed in the established warm-up suit and shoes, striding in that perfect, acceptable way. I am loving the freedom!
How cool is it that God brought Larry into my life? We each bring our own set of weirdness to our marriage! And we are thrilled with that. We complement each other well in our personalities, our giftings and our weirdness. God knew what He was doing!
As we have pursued God, He has revealed who we are in Him and what purpose He has for each of our lives. It has been amazing! I am so proud of my godly, righteous husband. He is a gifted teacher of the Word. I've been thrilled to encourage Larry in his giftings and calling. But when God began to give me glimpses about myself, I couldn’t take it in. It scared me to death. I tried to run from it, stuff it and ignore it.
The reaction of people to the revelation of the real me has been...well...interesting. Some people recognized it long before I did. Some have been challenged by it. Others have tried to discourage me. And still others have outright denied it to be true. You see, I didn't fit the mold. I was way outside the box.
Doubt and confusion crept in. And the fear of getting it wrong. But God kept confirming who I am over and over again.
Hats off to my encouragers! More patient people do not exist on earth! They have hinted, reminded, pushed, pulled, even dragged me through the last ten years. Until I was out of excuses. It was time to move the gear shift from park to drive. Time to take the road God laid out for me instead of the relatively "normal" trail I had chosen.
So what is this road God has me on? He has given me a voice and a platform. Through writing and speaking, I am declaring His truth and the freedom available through Jesus Christ. He is calling me to help people see themselves as God sees them (I got a taste of this while working at a pregnancy center - mm hmm).
The Lord is calling me to fully develop the giftings He placed within me so I can run the race. I am no longer satisfied to sit on the sidelines. Or merely walk on the traditional track, dressed in the established warm-up suit and shoes, striding in that perfect, acceptable way. I am loving the freedom!
Freedom Not Perfection
What gave me the courage to step out? What gave me the freedom to begin to live the life the Father had planned for me? My desire to honor and glorify God is stronger than my apprehension and fears. And the realization that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13 ESV
The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him. Psalm 28:7 ESV
Do I feel those old insecurities at times? Of course, but I then remember to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Have I encountered opposition? Absolutely, on every front imaginable but I persevere. Some days are better than others. Some days I can stand victoriously and some days I struggle. It is a battle. But I know who wins the war!
Do I get it right every time? No. I have missed the
mark plenty of times but I keep moving forward. Grace is a wonderful thing!
What Conforming Does
In making the compromise of conforming to this world, we concede who God created us to be. We deny the uniqueness He intends for us to bring to the Kingdom.
In making the compromise of conforming to this world, we concede who God created us to be. We deny the uniqueness He intends for us to bring to the Kingdom.
Conforming to this world is confusing, mind numbing, spirit silencing, and
heart wrenching. It leads us places we were never intended to go,
doing things we were never intended to do. We shut down parts of ourselves that
God has purpose in while embracing things that were never intended to be part
of us.
It drains us. It discourages us. It cripples us,
disabling us spiritually. We battle within ourselves daily until we no longer
know our own voice let alone recognize the voice of the Spirit.
When we conform to this world, we miss out. We’re
robbed of the blessings of living the life God planned for us. And we deprive
those around us of our uniqueness.
The Lord's Plans
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Yes, the Lord has plans for us. He has a calling on each and every one of our lives. He has placed giftings within each of us. No two of us are exactly alike, we are each a special blend. Priceless. Precious.
I am a lover of teas. All kinds. My favorite is English breakfast, a combination of various black teas. To me, it is the best blend with a depth of flavor that my palate craves. Whenever I drink basic black tea, I miss the blend and all that the other teas bring to the cup.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Yes, the Lord has plans for us. He has a calling on each and every one of our lives. He has placed giftings within each of us. No two of us are exactly alike, we are each a special blend. Priceless. Precious.
I am a lover of teas. All kinds. My favorite is English breakfast, a combination of various black teas. To me, it is the best blend with a depth of flavor that my palate craves. Whenever I drink basic black tea, I miss the blend and all that the other teas bring to the cup.
We've each been created as a special blend, a blessed combination of qualities and giftings. Conforming to the world changes the blend, the uniqueness, the specialness that God has placed in us. It limits us and what we have to offer. Why should I settle for a black tea when I have a cupboard stocked with the rich English Breakfast blend?
Life often distorts our view of ourselves but God delights in restoring truth. He is in the beauty from ashes business. No matter what path we have taken or how far from God we may have run, He can bring resurrection to our gifts and calling. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Romans 11:29 They are a permanent part of our being. Nothing can strip them from us, nothing. Hallelujah!
So, do we deny the gifts He has placed in us to pursue conformity? Do we reject the calling He has on our lives? Do we miss out on the blessing of being His ambassador, His hands and feet?
Heads up! If we don’t fulfill our plans and purposes, someone else will be given the honor and privilege of carrying them out. The Kingdom of God will move forward with or without us. I know I don't want to be left behind.
I am not a cow. I refuse to conform to the world's standards. I embrace the purposes of the Lord, the uniqueness He has placed within me. And I honor the uniqueness He has placed within each of you.
Let's get to work!
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory
forever. Amen. Romans 11:36 ESV
Monday, April 8, 2013
Gold & Diamonds
I slipped upstairs for a nap yesterday afternoon but God had other plans. Larry and I had just viewed a Science Channel program on geology. Object lessons were flowing like molten lava in my mind. I should have brought the laptop with me to bed.
Here is a little peek at what God showed me.
Oil & Water People
I recently asked a friend about a mutual acquaintance from years ago. He said they were like oil and water. What a great picture! I'm borrowing it for the purposes of this post.
We all have oil and water people in our lives. You know, the ones that can make us a little crazy. We just don't mix. Just being around them can trigger things in us. Our buttons get pushed. They are the oil to our water or vice versa.
I have one or two such people in my life. Perhaps more. I dearly love one but in another case, I struggle. The wounds are deep. But God and I are working on it.
Like it or not, God has purpose in bringing and allowing oil and water people in our lives. They aren't there by chance or accident.
Gold & Diamonds
Just as impurities in gold are brought to the surface by melting it, oil and water people bring our impurities to the surface. We may see things in ourselves that aren't pretty, things that need refinement.
We all have things in our lives that need to be removed so the beauty God has placed within us can be revealed to His glory.
Diamonds are produced through time, pressure and heat. To the untrained eye, a newly mined diamond may simply look like a rock of little value. But inside, there is breathtaking beauty that can only be revealed through masterfully cutting it, the hardest substance known to man.
Whether you see yourself as gold or a diamond, you are valued and valuable to the Kingdom of God. Father God established plans and purposes for you before the foundations of the earth. You matter. A lot!
This was a foreign concept to me until I could begin to see myself through the eyes of my husband and Jesus. It changed everything.
My Failure
Prior to the transforming power of love, I had failed in relationships of every kind. I had acted in ways that did not honor God. I used and abused people. I shut people out. I didn't know how to deal with disrespect, disappointment or inappropriate behavior so I'd shut down. I was cold, iceberg cold. I couldn't look at them let alone speak to them. But my actions or lack thereof spoke volumes.
I had become an oil and water person in the lives of others.
People who don't recognize their value, devalue others. I was living proof.
I had learned to cope by disengaging. I didn't know it then but I had bought into a lie straight from the enemy. I believed I could protect myself by disengaging and refusing to reengage. And it would be a nice bonus if my offenders suffered in the process. Sadly, this means of coping had been modeled for me through the generations. And I could never be accused of being a poor student.
I didn't know the joy and peace that accompany extending grace and forgiving others.
I was a mess. My heart was in tatters. But even the most tattered heart can be healed. Even the most guilty of sinners can be released from their bondage. Even the oil and water person who has caused you the most pain can become a cherished treasure.
My heart has been healed! I've been set free! I am in awe of the resurrecting power of love.
Love Led to Yes
The immensity of God's love led me to say "YES!" to Him, granting permission for Him to refine and cut as He sees fit. If I am to walk in the purposes He has for me, I must welcome removal and discard of those things within me that do not honor and glorify Jesus. And graciously allow Him to expose and polish those things within me that reflect Him.
Is the refining and cutting comfortable? No. But His love and gentleness make it bearable.
Prayer
So how do we deal with the oil and water people in our lives? The most valuable strategy God has given me is prayer.
If I know I am going to see or spend time with an oil and water person, I prepare through prayer. I may pray for days, perhaps weeks, even months. I ask God to prepare their heart but more importantly, I ask him to prepare mine.
The intimate nature of prayer changes my heart. I begin to see my oil and water person through the eyes of Jesus. My Father God provides enlightenment, revelation, wisdom and understanding. He teaches me to love.
I not only pray beforehand, I pray in the midst of my time with them. The bathroom is a great place to pray and bind unclean spirits! You don't have to be loud, barely audible gets the job done.
If I unexpectedly have face time with one of my oil and water people (i.e. running into someone at the store), I pray right on the spot. They don't know but I'm praying my heart out! "Lord, give me the words to speak. Help me to reflect the You in me. Show me how to love them and encourage them. Help me so I don't blow this!"
More Strategies
There are more strategies that help me in dealing with what Rick Warren calls "extra grace required" people. My list includes forgiveness, worship, time in God's Word, community, and maintaining a heart of gratitude. In other words, many of the things we should consistently be engaging in as a part of our faith journey.
Each of these strategies provides key pieces. Prayer brings intimacy and heart change. Forgiveness brings freedom and perspective. Worship brings agreement with God in mind, soul and spirit. Time in the Word brings enlightenment, understanding and wisdom. Community brings encouragement, refinement and spiritual muscle-building. A heart of gratitude brings focus and joy.
God's love has taught me to love, to look for the deposits He has placed within the challenging people in my life, my oil and water people. Those seams of gold or the promise of an uncut diamond are there - perhaps deeply hidden - but of great, great value. After all, He loves my oil and water people just as much as He loves me.
Process
We're all in different places in the refinement and cutting processes. Some of us already reveal Jesus' reflection, just as refined gold mirrors the reflection of the refiner. Others of us have facets in our character, personality and giftings that gleam and glint in the light of the Son.
Still others of us may need a little more time, pressure and heat before we can be mined, purified or cut to our full potential. And that's OK. Our willingness to welcome the Refiner's fire and the Master's cutting tools are key. There is no better time than the present.
I am confident God has used oil and water people in the refining and cutting processes in my life. And He will use them again. Bring it on!
(c)lclamb 2013
Here is a little peek at what God showed me.
Oil & Water People
I recently asked a friend about a mutual acquaintance from years ago. He said they were like oil and water. What a great picture! I'm borrowing it for the purposes of this post.
We all have oil and water people in our lives. You know, the ones that can make us a little crazy. We just don't mix. Just being around them can trigger things in us. Our buttons get pushed. They are the oil to our water or vice versa.
I have one or two such people in my life. Perhaps more. I dearly love one but in another case, I struggle. The wounds are deep. But God and I are working on it.
Like it or not, God has purpose in bringing and allowing oil and water people in our lives. They aren't there by chance or accident.
Gold & Diamonds
Just as impurities in gold are brought to the surface by melting it, oil and water people bring our impurities to the surface. We may see things in ourselves that aren't pretty, things that need refinement.
We all have things in our lives that need to be removed so the beauty God has placed within us can be revealed to His glory.
Diamonds are produced through time, pressure and heat. To the untrained eye, a newly mined diamond may simply look like a rock of little value. But inside, there is breathtaking beauty that can only be revealed through masterfully cutting it, the hardest substance known to man.
Whether you see yourself as gold or a diamond, you are valued and valuable to the Kingdom of God. Father God established plans and purposes for you before the foundations of the earth. You matter. A lot!
This was a foreign concept to me until I could begin to see myself through the eyes of my husband and Jesus. It changed everything.
My Failure
Prior to the transforming power of love, I had failed in relationships of every kind. I had acted in ways that did not honor God. I used and abused people. I shut people out. I didn't know how to deal with disrespect, disappointment or inappropriate behavior so I'd shut down. I was cold, iceberg cold. I couldn't look at them let alone speak to them. But my actions or lack thereof spoke volumes.
I had become an oil and water person in the lives of others.
People who don't recognize their value, devalue others. I was living proof.
I had learned to cope by disengaging. I didn't know it then but I had bought into a lie straight from the enemy. I believed I could protect myself by disengaging and refusing to reengage. And it would be a nice bonus if my offenders suffered in the process. Sadly, this means of coping had been modeled for me through the generations. And I could never be accused of being a poor student.
I didn't know the joy and peace that accompany extending grace and forgiving others.
I was a mess. My heart was in tatters. But even the most tattered heart can be healed. Even the most guilty of sinners can be released from their bondage. Even the oil and water person who has caused you the most pain can become a cherished treasure.
My heart has been healed! I've been set free! I am in awe of the resurrecting power of love.
Love Led to Yes
The immensity of God's love led me to say "YES!" to Him, granting permission for Him to refine and cut as He sees fit. If I am to walk in the purposes He has for me, I must welcome removal and discard of those things within me that do not honor and glorify Jesus. And graciously allow Him to expose and polish those things within me that reflect Him.
Is the refining and cutting comfortable? No. But His love and gentleness make it bearable.
Prayer
So how do we deal with the oil and water people in our lives? The most valuable strategy God has given me is prayer.
If I know I am going to see or spend time with an oil and water person, I prepare through prayer. I may pray for days, perhaps weeks, even months. I ask God to prepare their heart but more importantly, I ask him to prepare mine.
The intimate nature of prayer changes my heart. I begin to see my oil and water person through the eyes of Jesus. My Father God provides enlightenment, revelation, wisdom and understanding. He teaches me to love.
I not only pray beforehand, I pray in the midst of my time with them. The bathroom is a great place to pray and bind unclean spirits! You don't have to be loud, barely audible gets the job done.
If I unexpectedly have face time with one of my oil and water people (i.e. running into someone at the store), I pray right on the spot. They don't know but I'm praying my heart out! "Lord, give me the words to speak. Help me to reflect the You in me. Show me how to love them and encourage them. Help me so I don't blow this!"
More Strategies
There are more strategies that help me in dealing with what Rick Warren calls "extra grace required" people. My list includes forgiveness, worship, time in God's Word, community, and maintaining a heart of gratitude. In other words, many of the things we should consistently be engaging in as a part of our faith journey.
Each of these strategies provides key pieces. Prayer brings intimacy and heart change. Forgiveness brings freedom and perspective. Worship brings agreement with God in mind, soul and spirit. Time in the Word brings enlightenment, understanding and wisdom. Community brings encouragement, refinement and spiritual muscle-building. A heart of gratitude brings focus and joy.
God's love has taught me to love, to look for the deposits He has placed within the challenging people in my life, my oil and water people. Those seams of gold or the promise of an uncut diamond are there - perhaps deeply hidden - but of great, great value. After all, He loves my oil and water people just as much as He loves me.
Process
We're all in different places in the refinement and cutting processes. Some of us already reveal Jesus' reflection, just as refined gold mirrors the reflection of the refiner. Others of us have facets in our character, personality and giftings that gleam and glint in the light of the Son.
Still others of us may need a little more time, pressure and heat before we can be mined, purified or cut to our full potential. And that's OK. Our willingness to welcome the Refiner's fire and the Master's cutting tools are key. There is no better time than the present.
I am confident God has used oil and water people in the refining and cutting processes in my life. And He will use them again. Bring it on!
(c)lclamb 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Healing in His Wings
But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; Malachi 4:2a
I know the enemy does not want me to proclaim this. I was initially going to post it on Facebook. Two words into it, my browser went down. Reboot accomplished. Then doubts began to creep into my mind. "Oh no you don't! You're not stealing God's glory, satan!" (I refuse to capitalize his name, for those of you that noticed.)
Jesus still heals, my friends!
On Monday, I mentioned in a Facebook post that I was still processing all God had done on Sunday. I had life-altering emotional healing but now, four days later, I am declaring and sharing physical healing as well.
I knew something was different when we walked out of church Sunday night. I felt great! I hadn't eaten anything since 12 Noon and it was after 9 p.m. No diabetic symptoms whatsoever. Normally I would have been in trouble. And I usually carry a Mojo Mountain Mix bar for just such occasions. My purse was empty of any emergency provisions. But, like I said, I felt great! (No worries, we did grab a bite on the way home.)
I've noticed throughout the week that my blood glucose levels have been amazing. If anything, I needed to work to keep them high enough. So I cut my dosage of Metformin in half. All was well. Now I've eliminated it entirely.
Don't panic, my medical friends out there! I am not irresponsible. I have my doctor's blessing. I've even done some "testing". My numbers are rock solid no matter what I eat (and last night I ate a caramel roll!).
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 ESV
I am living proof of this scripture, this prophecy of what Jesus would do on our behalf.
Type 2 diabetes - healed!!!! Thank you, Jesus! Yes, by His stripes, I AM healed! And on Easter Sunday no less! Hallelujah! WooHoo!
And that's not all! For those of you that read my blog posts, you know I joined Weight Watchers online in mid January. I've lost slowly and steadily but I confess I had gotten pretty fed up with the whole dieting thing over the last couple of weeks.
I slacked off on tracking what I was eating. I kept a mental tally but you know how that goes. So, yes, there was rebellion on my part. Not completely going off the rails, I admit to taking a side track here and there. My numbers were all over the map last week. This week was a totally different story...thanks to Jesus' healing!
Back to what I was about to tell you. Thursday is my weigh-in day. Albeit reluctant, I got the scales out this morning. I set them down on my weigh-in spot (in this old farm house, finding level floor is a challenge!). I stepped on hoping for good news. Oh please!
Could it be? Yes! Down 2.4 pounds! The biggest weekly loss since I started. The number that had been taunting me for weeks is finally in the rear view mirror. Happy dance!!
Hope restored! Excitement rekindled! Thank you, Jesus! To God be the glory!
I think I'll go for a walk. (Insert happy face here!)
Jesus' words: "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." John 14:12 & 13 ESV
I know the enemy does not want me to proclaim this. I was initially going to post it on Facebook. Two words into it, my browser went down. Reboot accomplished. Then doubts began to creep into my mind. "Oh no you don't! You're not stealing God's glory, satan!" (I refuse to capitalize his name, for those of you that noticed.)
Jesus still heals, my friends!
On Monday, I mentioned in a Facebook post that I was still processing all God had done on Sunday. I had life-altering emotional healing but now, four days later, I am declaring and sharing physical healing as well.
I knew something was different when we walked out of church Sunday night. I felt great! I hadn't eaten anything since 12 Noon and it was after 9 p.m. No diabetic symptoms whatsoever. Normally I would have been in trouble. And I usually carry a Mojo Mountain Mix bar for just such occasions. My purse was empty of any emergency provisions. But, like I said, I felt great! (No worries, we did grab a bite on the way home.)
I've noticed throughout the week that my blood glucose levels have been amazing. If anything, I needed to work to keep them high enough. So I cut my dosage of Metformin in half. All was well. Now I've eliminated it entirely.
Don't panic, my medical friends out there! I am not irresponsible. I have my doctor's blessing. I've even done some "testing". My numbers are rock solid no matter what I eat (and last night I ate a caramel roll!).
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 ESV
I am living proof of this scripture, this prophecy of what Jesus would do on our behalf.
Type 2 diabetes - healed!!!! Thank you, Jesus! Yes, by His stripes, I AM healed! And on Easter Sunday no less! Hallelujah! WooHoo!
And that's not all! For those of you that read my blog posts, you know I joined Weight Watchers online in mid January. I've lost slowly and steadily but I confess I had gotten pretty fed up with the whole dieting thing over the last couple of weeks.
I slacked off on tracking what I was eating. I kept a mental tally but you know how that goes. So, yes, there was rebellion on my part. Not completely going off the rails, I admit to taking a side track here and there. My numbers were all over the map last week. This week was a totally different story...thanks to Jesus' healing!
Back to what I was about to tell you. Thursday is my weigh-in day. Albeit reluctant, I got the scales out this morning. I set them down on my weigh-in spot (in this old farm house, finding level floor is a challenge!). I stepped on hoping for good news. Oh please!
Could it be? Yes! Down 2.4 pounds! The biggest weekly loss since I started. The number that had been taunting me for weeks is finally in the rear view mirror. Happy dance!!
Hope restored! Excitement rekindled! Thank you, Jesus! To God be the glory!
I think I'll go for a walk. (Insert happy face here!)
Jesus' words: "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." John 14:12 & 13 ESV
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
In Honor of My Man & Our Marriage
The sanctuary was bathed in candle light and harp music filled the air. Simple yet elegant. Just the way we wanted it.
Nineteen years ago today, God joined our lives and our hearts. Two imperfect people with vastly different personalities and life experiences brought together by the love of Jesus Christ and a desire to serve Him.
I don't consider my husband in the terms many use - my best friend. It goes SO much deeper than that. Calling him my best friend would be selling him and God short. I doubt a label exists that could adequately describe what we have and that's okay.
We don't own a fancy home with expensive furniture. We don't take lavish vacations. Our vehicle is nearly ten years old. (Yes, we currently only have one as that is all we need.) We don't have a vast retirement portfolio. By our society's standards, we have very little. But we feel like we are the richest people on earth. And we are content.
No matter what life has thrown at us (and it has thrown plenty, trust me!), we've grown closer. Our marriage has been forged by a bond that cannot be broken.
To me, the safest place on earth is in Larry's arms.
He knows me better than any other human being, a fact that gives me peace and comfort as well as a sense of safety and security.
He understands my heart, my passions, my purpose and even how my mind works (scary thought!).
He calls me beautiful even on those days when my naturally curly and often frizzy hair looks like a family of mice has built a home in it, no make-up has been applied, hot flashes have won, sleep has eluded me and I'm down right ornery. He can see through all the external stuff to the real me.
He loves me even on those days when I wake up mad at him for something that he did or didn't do in a dream. Let's face it, the man married a challenge but he thrives at making the most of life with said challenge.
He encourages me. He builds me up. He brags about me. Pride fills his eyes as he looks at me.
I've called him "the man with the golden tongue" for years because of the things he says that melt my heart...usually words spoken to other people in my presence. Precious words stored in my heart.
We finish each others' sentences and fill in the blank when the other cannot think of a word.
He is the person I most enjoy conversing with. Don't expect us to sit at the dining table discussing things of little consequence. We dig deep. We ask each other questions because we value the other's opinion. What is your take on this? What is the Holy Spirit telling you about that?
I respect my husband more than any man I have ever met. And I honor him for being a godly man, a righteous man, a man of integrity.
He is a quiet, gentle man but not a shy man. He has plenty to share, just get him in "teacher mode" and you'll know what I mean! He knows God's Word and seeks God's heart.
He carries calm and peace with him wherever he goes. He can bring order to chaos just by his mere presence. People who don't want to like him soon respect him and even grow to love him.
Not long before his death, a dear friend told Larry he hated all white men until he met Larry. People say it all the time: "there's just something about Larry". Chalk it up to God's wiring and the Holy Spirit's indwelling!
Has God blessed me with a good man? The best man I have ever known!
Nineteen years ago today, God joined our lives and our hearts. Two imperfect people with vastly different personalities and life experiences brought together by the love of Jesus Christ and a desire to serve Him.
I don't consider my husband in the terms many use - my best friend. It goes SO much deeper than that. Calling him my best friend would be selling him and God short. I doubt a label exists that could adequately describe what we have and that's okay.
We don't own a fancy home with expensive furniture. We don't take lavish vacations. Our vehicle is nearly ten years old. (Yes, we currently only have one as that is all we need.) We don't have a vast retirement portfolio. By our society's standards, we have very little. But we feel like we are the richest people on earth. And we are content.
No matter what life has thrown at us (and it has thrown plenty, trust me!), we've grown closer. Our marriage has been forged by a bond that cannot be broken.
To me, the safest place on earth is in Larry's arms.
He knows me better than any other human being, a fact that gives me peace and comfort as well as a sense of safety and security.
He understands my heart, my passions, my purpose and even how my mind works (scary thought!).
He calls me beautiful even on those days when my naturally curly and often frizzy hair looks like a family of mice has built a home in it, no make-up has been applied, hot flashes have won, sleep has eluded me and I'm down right ornery. He can see through all the external stuff to the real me.
He loves me even on those days when I wake up mad at him for something that he did or didn't do in a dream. Let's face it, the man married a challenge but he thrives at making the most of life with said challenge.
He encourages me. He builds me up. He brags about me. Pride fills his eyes as he looks at me.
I've called him "the man with the golden tongue" for years because of the things he says that melt my heart...usually words spoken to other people in my presence. Precious words stored in my heart.
We finish each others' sentences and fill in the blank when the other cannot think of a word.
He is the person I most enjoy conversing with. Don't expect us to sit at the dining table discussing things of little consequence. We dig deep. We ask each other questions because we value the other's opinion. What is your take on this? What is the Holy Spirit telling you about that?
I respect my husband more than any man I have ever met. And I honor him for being a godly man, a righteous man, a man of integrity.
He is a quiet, gentle man but not a shy man. He has plenty to share, just get him in "teacher mode" and you'll know what I mean! He knows God's Word and seeks God's heart.
He carries calm and peace with him wherever he goes. He can bring order to chaos just by his mere presence. People who don't want to like him soon respect him and even grow to love him.
Not long before his death, a dear friend told Larry he hated all white men until he met Larry. People say it all the time: "there's just something about Larry". Chalk it up to God's wiring and the Holy Spirit's indwelling!
Has God blessed me with a good man? The best man I have ever known!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Choosing To Forgive
My extended family was peppered with unforgiveness. Grudges
were held. Walls were built. Siblings didn’t speak to each other for years. And
it bled with far reaching consequences.
Anger, hate and bitterness inhabited those places where love
should have thrived.
Sadly, it survives today…eating away at the fabric of what
should be a beautiful family tapestry. And I pray it will come to an end in my
father’s lifetime. Oh how I long to see eyes filled with joy and peace instead of pain.
I learned unforgiveness. It was modeled for me. It had taken
root generations before.
I struggled under the burden of not only my “stuff” but that
of all the people I loved. It was too much, far too much. It nearly destroyed
my health and broke my heart over and over again.
It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I truly understood forgiveness
and my role. It isn’t my job to hold others accountable for their actions. When
I attempted to, I was actually imprisoning myself. It poisoned my life.
So I resigned.
I stepped down from the throne of justice I had erected. I threw my judicial robe and gavel in the trash.
I made a
choice to allow God - the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - to be God in my
life. My arrogant attempt at His role was fruitless, pathetic and pointless. I
desired a clean slate with God and all the people I refused to forgive. Do I
have relationship with all of those people? No and that’s OK. The most
important thing is they are no longer held hostage by my unforgiving heart.
Unforgiveness
imprisons us to our fears, our pasts, and our pain. Unforgiveness strips us of
hope. It robs us of joy. It binds us in chains of bitterness. It is spiritual
quick sand that will eventually swallow us physically and emotionally as
well.
I’ve been reading a devotional
by Corrie ten Boom, I Stand At The Door And Knock. She phrased it so
beautifully when she wrote “If you don’t forgive, you break the bridge – the same
bridge that you need as well.”
Just as we are commanded to
love, we are commanded to forgive. “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Luke
6:37b “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither
will your Father forgive your trespasses. “ Matthew 6:14-15 Father, forgive me for my arrogance and my stubborn pride! I choose to forgive.
Let’s be
honest. Life isn’t fair. It isn’t easy. The pain can be unbearable. But we are
not alone. The Lord is with us every step of the way. And He will give us the
grace required to forgive when we draw on His strength, His mercy and His love.
Could I
have forgiven without the Lord’s help? It’s highly unlikely! All I could focus
on was what they had done wrong. They didn’t deserve forgiveness…but then again, did I? A resounding NO! The
Lord changed my focus. He changed my heart. Through His
loving me, He taught me to love others. “We Love because He first loved us.” 1
John 4:19
In the
words of Corrie ten Boom, “Thank You, Father, that your love in me is stronger
than my anger toward those who treated me so cruelly.” If we focus on Him and
His love, we can forgive. We can extend what He extended to us through Christ
Jesus.
As Holy
Week and Resurrection Sunday are upon us, I encourage you to examine your
heart. Forgive those who have hurt you. Set them free. And receive God’s
forgiveness for yourself.
Ask God to reveal any unforgiveness that remains hidden in
your heart, hidden from even you. Ask Him to remove it, right down to any microscopic roots. And fill the remaining void with love, His love. Soak in His love and experience the peace that passes all understanding.
“Therefore, since we have been
justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through
him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand,
and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our
sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces
character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame,
because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who
has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5 ESV
God’s love
has been poured into our hearts! Not drizzled or dripped – POURED! Hallelujah!
This old hymn came to mind:“Turn your
eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will
grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” (Helen Lemmel, 1922) Believe it!
I choose to forgive. Will you?
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Valentine's Day Reflections
It isn't easy to put into words what a happy and healthy Christ-centered marriage has been and is to me. But here goes.
It is a safe harbor to sail into.
A cozy place of refuge.
Sunbeams break through the cloudy days.
Moonlight shines through the nights.
Nourishment for the heart and soul.
Fresh air. Peace.
It is a place of release.
Chains of bondage fall away.
Oh, the thrill of dancing with abandon!
Twirling. Gliding. Reaching.
Yearning for more.
Courage. Expectation. Joy.
It is a place to grow.
Room to breathe, to explore, to try.
Stretching out your arms, embracing life.
Love takes flight.
Soaring on gentle breezes.
Higher. Further. Hope.
It is a place of forgiveness.
Love reaching out, taking your hand.
Making all things new.
Fresh like April showers.
New life emerging from the soil.
Green. Growing. Grace.
It is a place where beauty is revealed.
Masks are gently removed.
The real you through their eyes.
Could it be?
The you God created you to be.
Free to be. Love.
You're finally home....(c)lclamb 2013
Today I wrote these words on my hubby's Valentine's card: "I love you beyond measure. You are the peanut butter to my jelly, the milk to my cereal and the chocolate to my caramel. We are best when we are together. Thank you for making my life complete. I will love you always." (c)lclamb 2013
If you find yourself alone this Valentine's Day, curl up with Jesus. He loves you like no other, with an everlasting love.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Small Victories: My Quest to Becoming a Smaller Me
O.K. I confess. I'm a "large" woman.
I refuse to use the word "fat". I was once called a "fat b**ch by total strangers - ugly, hurtful words. (And I weighed a lot less than I do now. Insert emoticon here!)
I hate having my picture taken. I hate shopping even more. If you would like to experience a new brand of frustration, try being plus-sized and needing at least a 33 inch inseam! "High water" pants? Not I!
I'm ashamed of how I look. I feel even more shame as strangers look at me, either dismissing me or in disgust. My personality has always been my winning feature but, trapped in this body, there is little opportunity to shine.
I know the emotional reasons for my weight gain. (See my last post.) I am free of much of the bondage that brought me to this place, my body just does not reflect it. Time for a reality check.
Things went a little lopsided this past Fall. Lots of sugar. All the time. I should have thrown all those leftover cupcakes away but no, I ate most of them. Dang, they were good!
I'd been able to get away with my sugar kinship for a long time without my clothes getting too tight or gaining a lot of weight. I'd been the same size for years. Until a few months ago. Things didn't fit. The scale was reflecting it. I felt huge and ugly. Ya gotta love menopause - and bad habits! The combo of the two is deadly!
My blood glucose levels were out of whack. It didn't seem to matter what I did, I couldn't bring my numbers down. Even on days when I was a good girl, my numbers were way too high. So why bother? Let's eat more sugar!
And my blood pressure was all over the map. I had been to the ER twice in December due to migraines and blood pressure so high my family practitioner sent me across the street to the hospital without even seeing me.
I was admitted for observation on one of those trips. I endured a battery of tests and a miserable night with my tobacco chewing - and spitting! - roommate but my heart was fine. Thank you, Jesus! (They didn't receive a very favorable review from me. They left a nitro patch on my chest for 24 hours. And my husband was the one who discovered it was still there! He was none too pleased that I had endured a migraine like no other for hours upon hours. But I digress.)
Between my blood glucose and my blood pressure, I got scared. I needed to do something. I hadn't fulfilled my God-given purpose. I had things I needed to do (like writing!), places I needed to go, lives I needed to touch.
A few years ago, an osteopath recommended a weight loss plan I had done years before. "Several of my patients have been successful with it." Been there, done that.
My current family practitioner told me, "You've got to get serious about losing some weight." Duh. I knew that but something was holding me back from walking across the threshold to freedom from my excess baggage.
Dietitians and nurses encouraged me to lose weight. They could smile like crazy and say nice things but I had to be r-e-a-d-y. And I wasn't.
A cousin who had lost over 100 pounds after gastric bypass asked me it I had ever considered that route. No, no I hadn't. And I wouldn't.
Chiropractors told me to read this book and that book. I don't think so.
I thought about my options, "weighed" them even. I dismissed many as too expensive or too drastic.
I made excuses. Until I just couldn't excuse my size and all the challenges that accompanied it anymore. I had to do something before my health deteriorated further requiring even more meds, and - horror of horrors! - I had to go shopping to buy the next size larger.
I checked out weightwatchers.com. Hmm. Interesting. Intriguing. Price is right. Tools are genius. Let's give this a try.
The first two weeks were great. Ten pounds gone. I wasn't eating twigs and berries, either. It was real food. Actually whatever I wanted as long as I tracked it and didn't exceed the points I was allowed.
Then on week three, no weight loss. I got out the tape measure. The numbers were surprisingly satisfying. O.K. At least something was happening.
I declared we needed to buy a new digital scale. So we did. And it weighs heavier - even heavier than the professional doctor's scale Larry uses fully clothed at work. Gulp. As a fifty-three year old woman, I wanted to have a tantrum. A real one. You know, the kind where a child falls to the floor kicking and screaming, pounding the floor with their fists. Yep, that kind of tantrum.
But I was honest and put the "new" weight on my tracking tool. And my line took a spike upwards. Dislike! I stuck with the plan but I was feeling down and discouraged. My old habits are screaming for recognition, attention, and indulgence.
The voice of temptation was so loud, so real. "Your diet isn't working so...E-A-T me! You know you want to...come on...ooo, I've got you thinking about it. You know I'm here. That bright blue bag of mini M&M's you've got in the cupboard for baking. Think of all the pretty colors and chocolate...you know how much you love chocolate. I'm here, in the middle cupboard. Second shelf. Bright blue bag. You can't miss me. Come get me. You won't regret it." I ate a few not the whole bag. And I accounted for every one.
And then....
As I was pulling my jeans out of the clean laundry this morning, I sputtered about how they would fit. I hadn't worn them in over a week and they had been snug then. One leg in. Two legs in. And then the test. Over my backside with ease. Hmm. Now to button them. Holy cow! They buttoned without requiring brute force, actually no force at all. Victory! :)
The look on my face clearly amused my husband. Even his eyes smiled as he said "See. I told you it was working. Stick with it. I am so proud of you!" Thanks for believing in me, wonderful husband of mine.
I've felt trapped in my plus-sized body for years. There is a thinner me just screaming to be released. I get glimpses of her. My husband has seen her all along. Sweet man!
I am going to relish the little victories as I walk down this road to better health and freedom from this shell that isn't the real me.
Oh, and if you're wondering about my blood glucose and blood pressure readings, they are astonishingly good! Whoop! Whoop!
Jesus makes all things new. (Rev 21:5 ESV) Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus! I need this old wineskin to be shed so new wine can be put into a fresh wineskin. (Luke 5:38 ESV) An odd word picture perhaps but some of you will understand.
I encourage you to look for the small victories in your life and praise God for them. Let them propel you forward as you keep your eyes fixed on Him.
My daily reminders:
*Philippians 4:13 (ESV) "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
*Romans 8:28 (KJV) "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Especially for those days when I want to berate myself for ever getting to this size.)
*Mark 10:27b (ESV) "For all things are possible with God."
I refuse to use the word "fat". I was once called a "fat b**ch by total strangers - ugly, hurtful words. (And I weighed a lot less than I do now. Insert emoticon here!)
I hate having my picture taken. I hate shopping even more. If you would like to experience a new brand of frustration, try being plus-sized and needing at least a 33 inch inseam! "High water" pants? Not I!
I'm ashamed of how I look. I feel even more shame as strangers look at me, either dismissing me or in disgust. My personality has always been my winning feature but, trapped in this body, there is little opportunity to shine.
I know the emotional reasons for my weight gain. (See my last post.) I am free of much of the bondage that brought me to this place, my body just does not reflect it. Time for a reality check.
Things went a little lopsided this past Fall. Lots of sugar. All the time. I should have thrown all those leftover cupcakes away but no, I ate most of them. Dang, they were good!
I'd been able to get away with my sugar kinship for a long time without my clothes getting too tight or gaining a lot of weight. I'd been the same size for years. Until a few months ago. Things didn't fit. The scale was reflecting it. I felt huge and ugly. Ya gotta love menopause - and bad habits! The combo of the two is deadly!
My blood glucose levels were out of whack. It didn't seem to matter what I did, I couldn't bring my numbers down. Even on days when I was a good girl, my numbers were way too high. So why bother? Let's eat more sugar!
And my blood pressure was all over the map. I had been to the ER twice in December due to migraines and blood pressure so high my family practitioner sent me across the street to the hospital without even seeing me.
I was admitted for observation on one of those trips. I endured a battery of tests and a miserable night with my tobacco chewing - and spitting! - roommate but my heart was fine. Thank you, Jesus! (They didn't receive a very favorable review from me. They left a nitro patch on my chest for 24 hours. And my husband was the one who discovered it was still there! He was none too pleased that I had endured a migraine like no other for hours upon hours. But I digress.)
Between my blood glucose and my blood pressure, I got scared. I needed to do something. I hadn't fulfilled my God-given purpose. I had things I needed to do (like writing!), places I needed to go, lives I needed to touch.
A few years ago, an osteopath recommended a weight loss plan I had done years before. "Several of my patients have been successful with it." Been there, done that.
My current family practitioner told me, "You've got to get serious about losing some weight." Duh. I knew that but something was holding me back from walking across the threshold to freedom from my excess baggage.
Dietitians and nurses encouraged me to lose weight. They could smile like crazy and say nice things but I had to be r-e-a-d-y. And I wasn't.
A cousin who had lost over 100 pounds after gastric bypass asked me it I had ever considered that route. No, no I hadn't. And I wouldn't.
Chiropractors told me to read this book and that book. I don't think so.
I thought about my options, "weighed" them even. I dismissed many as too expensive or too drastic.
I made excuses. Until I just couldn't excuse my size and all the challenges that accompanied it anymore. I had to do something before my health deteriorated further requiring even more meds, and - horror of horrors! - I had to go shopping to buy the next size larger.
I checked out weightwatchers.com. Hmm. Interesting. Intriguing. Price is right. Tools are genius. Let's give this a try.
The first two weeks were great. Ten pounds gone. I wasn't eating twigs and berries, either. It was real food. Actually whatever I wanted as long as I tracked it and didn't exceed the points I was allowed.
Then on week three, no weight loss. I got out the tape measure. The numbers were surprisingly satisfying. O.K. At least something was happening.
I declared we needed to buy a new digital scale. So we did. And it weighs heavier - even heavier than the professional doctor's scale Larry uses fully clothed at work. Gulp. As a fifty-three year old woman, I wanted to have a tantrum. A real one. You know, the kind where a child falls to the floor kicking and screaming, pounding the floor with their fists. Yep, that kind of tantrum.
But I was honest and put the "new" weight on my tracking tool. And my line took a spike upwards. Dislike! I stuck with the plan but I was feeling down and discouraged. My old habits are screaming for recognition, attention, and indulgence.
The voice of temptation was so loud, so real. "Your diet isn't working so...E-A-T me! You know you want to...come on...ooo, I've got you thinking about it. You know I'm here. That bright blue bag of mini M&M's you've got in the cupboard for baking. Think of all the pretty colors and chocolate...you know how much you love chocolate. I'm here, in the middle cupboard. Second shelf. Bright blue bag. You can't miss me. Come get me. You won't regret it." I ate a few not the whole bag. And I accounted for every one.
And then....
As I was pulling my jeans out of the clean laundry this morning, I sputtered about how they would fit. I hadn't worn them in over a week and they had been snug then. One leg in. Two legs in. And then the test. Over my backside with ease. Hmm. Now to button them. Holy cow! They buttoned without requiring brute force, actually no force at all. Victory! :)
The look on my face clearly amused my husband. Even his eyes smiled as he said "See. I told you it was working. Stick with it. I am so proud of you!" Thanks for believing in me, wonderful husband of mine.
I've felt trapped in my plus-sized body for years. There is a thinner me just screaming to be released. I get glimpses of her. My husband has seen her all along. Sweet man!
I am going to relish the little victories as I walk down this road to better health and freedom from this shell that isn't the real me.
Oh, and if you're wondering about my blood glucose and blood pressure readings, they are astonishingly good! Whoop! Whoop!
Jesus makes all things new. (Rev 21:5 ESV) Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus! I need this old wineskin to be shed so new wine can be put into a fresh wineskin. (Luke 5:38 ESV) An odd word picture perhaps but some of you will understand.
I encourage you to look for the small victories in your life and praise God for them. Let them propel you forward as you keep your eyes fixed on Him.
*Philippians 4:13 (ESV) "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
*Romans 8:28 (KJV) "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Especially for those days when I want to berate myself for ever getting to this size.)
*Mark 10:27b (ESV) "For all things are possible with God."
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Love & Grace
As I read the Facebook posts of my pro-life friends, I am truly saddened on this, the anniversary of Roe v Wade. I, too, am pro-life but as someone who made that desperate choice many years ago, I know the fear and shame involved. You cannot begin to know unless you have walked that road.
As the creator and giver of life, God grieves the abomination of abortion. If we respond in judgment and condemnation, He grieves that even more. It does not bring positive change. It does not reflect His heart and that of His Son, Jesus.
We must respond in love and grace. We don't know the road these women have walked. In loving them, we are not condoning their choices, we are extending Christ's love. Haven't we all sinned? Haven't we all made poor choices that don't reflect who we truly are?
My life was shattered by my choice to abort. In many ways, the choice was taken from me by my child's father. I wasn't strong enough to go against his wishes, to fight for my child's life. Fear won. Desperation won. And I lost so very, very much.
I witnessed women in the abortion clinic who used abortion as their chosen method of birth control. I pray for them. They are so very broken inside. But today I want to speak from the heart of a woman who has made the choice out of fear, out of desperation and out of shame.
Shame is doubled for women who have had abortions.
First there is the shame of an unplanned pregnancy. That shame drives countless women to abort. You can hide the reality of your indiscretion for only so long. Then it is there for the whole world to see...and to judge and condemn.
My fears brought tremendous darkness. If you think the enemy of our souls doesn't take advantage of those dark times, you need to rethink it. He lives to lie, steal and destroy. In the case of abortion, not only is the child's life destroyed, so is the mothers.
Second there is the shame of the abortion itself. There is a huge stigma attached. Hollywood would have us believe abortion is no big deal. Women are portrayed as sitting around chatting about their experiences like they just got a tooth filled. It's a huge lie!
I tried to carry on with my life, to keep myself so busy I wouldn't have time to think about it. But it caught up with me. The overwhelming grief washed over me like a tsunami. And I had to endure that grief in silence. As a Christian, no one could know what I had done. I was sure I would be rejected. I knew how Christians talked about women who had abortions. I simply could not bear it.
It wasn't until God brought people into my life who loved me unconditionally that the truth of what I had done was revealed. I knew I could trust them. I knew they would not reject me.
I worked in a mega church over ten years ago. Every year the Sanctity of Life posters were scattered about the church and every year I felt my heart being stomped on over and over again. It's not that the posters themselves were condemning, it was the crushing shame being brought to the surface. I could hardly breath.
One day I simply had to talk to someone. I asked a dear friend to meet me for lunch. We escaped into a classroom far from any prying eyes or ears. It was there that I released all the pain that had been building up inside of me. And what did she do? Exactly what my husband had done on our second date when I told him. She stood in front of my chair and held out her hands. She took me in her arms and held me as I wept. She was Jesus to me that day just as Larry had been Jesus to me years earlier.
That is what we are to be, Jesus in the flesh. Loving, accepting, comforting, and embracing. And what did God do when my healing was complete? He gave me the honor and privilege of doing just that at a pregnancy center. I wasn't perfect. I made mistakes. But I loved just as He has loved me.
Mercy, grace and love within the Christian community have been lacking on the unplanned pregnancy and abortion front. Suggestions of someone being a "slut", "selfish", and "you should know better" have been much too quick to come to the minds and out of the mouths of Christians.
I think of the man outside the abortion clinic who, in the name of God, shamed everyone who entered. He quoted scripture. He called us names. Did he show love and compassion? It certainly wasn't evident to me or anyone else who walked in those doors that day.
Overall, we believers have not been Christ-like in responding to abortion-vulnerable and post-abortal women. Is there room for improvement? A resounding YES!
There are many excellent pregnancy centers who strive every day to not only save the lives of the unborn but the lives of every woman who comes through their doors. And I applaud ICU Mobile, an organization providing free ultrasounds via their fully equipped RV's. They are expanding across the country "revealing life...at the crossroads of decision"(c). I know seeing my child in the womb would have changed everything.
But we need to do even more! And we have to start now. We need to begin confessing our own sin in this, the sin of making others feel "less than" because of their sin. We MUST love! We are commanded to love! We have been loved with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3) so we, in turn, must love others.
Yes, our laws need to be changed to reflect the true origin of life. God told Jeremiah "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." (Jer 1:5) so the origin is actually before conception. But even before the Roe v Wade hurdle can be cleared, we must learn to love.
Women need to feel loved right where they are. Just as Jesus does with each one of us. I am convinced if women are loved instead of condemned, we would see more women giving their babies up for adoption. In love, they would see that even if they could not care for their child, they could give the baby life. And extend the greatest gift possible to people who long to share their hearts and lives with a child.
Changing the heart and will of society begins with small steps. Let it begin with you. Love....
As the creator and giver of life, God grieves the abomination of abortion. If we respond in judgment and condemnation, He grieves that even more. It does not bring positive change. It does not reflect His heart and that of His Son, Jesus.
We must respond in love and grace. We don't know the road these women have walked. In loving them, we are not condoning their choices, we are extending Christ's love. Haven't we all sinned? Haven't we all made poor choices that don't reflect who we truly are?
My life was shattered by my choice to abort. In many ways, the choice was taken from me by my child's father. I wasn't strong enough to go against his wishes, to fight for my child's life. Fear won. Desperation won. And I lost so very, very much.
I witnessed women in the abortion clinic who used abortion as their chosen method of birth control. I pray for them. They are so very broken inside. But today I want to speak from the heart of a woman who has made the choice out of fear, out of desperation and out of shame.
Shame is doubled for women who have had abortions.
First there is the shame of an unplanned pregnancy. That shame drives countless women to abort. You can hide the reality of your indiscretion for only so long. Then it is there for the whole world to see...and to judge and condemn.
My fears brought tremendous darkness. If you think the enemy of our souls doesn't take advantage of those dark times, you need to rethink it. He lives to lie, steal and destroy. In the case of abortion, not only is the child's life destroyed, so is the mothers.
I tried to carry on with my life, to keep myself so busy I wouldn't have time to think about it. But it caught up with me. The overwhelming grief washed over me like a tsunami. And I had to endure that grief in silence. As a Christian, no one could know what I had done. I was sure I would be rejected. I knew how Christians talked about women who had abortions. I simply could not bear it.
It wasn't until God brought people into my life who loved me unconditionally that the truth of what I had done was revealed. I knew I could trust them. I knew they would not reject me.
I worked in a mega church over ten years ago. Every year the Sanctity of Life posters were scattered about the church and every year I felt my heart being stomped on over and over again. It's not that the posters themselves were condemning, it was the crushing shame being brought to the surface. I could hardly breath.
One day I simply had to talk to someone. I asked a dear friend to meet me for lunch. We escaped into a classroom far from any prying eyes or ears. It was there that I released all the pain that had been building up inside of me. And what did she do? Exactly what my husband had done on our second date when I told him. She stood in front of my chair and held out her hands. She took me in her arms and held me as I wept. She was Jesus to me that day just as Larry had been Jesus to me years earlier.
That is what we are to be, Jesus in the flesh. Loving, accepting, comforting, and embracing. And what did God do when my healing was complete? He gave me the honor and privilege of doing just that at a pregnancy center. I wasn't perfect. I made mistakes. But I loved just as He has loved me.
Mercy, grace and love within the Christian community have been lacking on the unplanned pregnancy and abortion front. Suggestions of someone being a "slut", "selfish", and "you should know better" have been much too quick to come to the minds and out of the mouths of Christians.
I think of the man outside the abortion clinic who, in the name of God, shamed everyone who entered. He quoted scripture. He called us names. Did he show love and compassion? It certainly wasn't evident to me or anyone else who walked in those doors that day.
Overall, we believers have not been Christ-like in responding to abortion-vulnerable and post-abortal women. Is there room for improvement? A resounding YES!
There are many excellent pregnancy centers who strive every day to not only save the lives of the unborn but the lives of every woman who comes through their doors. And I applaud ICU Mobile, an organization providing free ultrasounds via their fully equipped RV's. They are expanding across the country "revealing life...at the crossroads of decision"(c). I know seeing my child in the womb would have changed everything.
But we need to do even more! And we have to start now. We need to begin confessing our own sin in this, the sin of making others feel "less than" because of their sin. We MUST love! We are commanded to love! We have been loved with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3) so we, in turn, must love others.
Yes, our laws need to be changed to reflect the true origin of life. God told Jeremiah "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." (Jer 1:5) so the origin is actually before conception. But even before the Roe v Wade hurdle can be cleared, we must learn to love.
Women need to feel loved right where they are. Just as Jesus does with each one of us. I am convinced if women are loved instead of condemned, we would see more women giving their babies up for adoption. In love, they would see that even if they could not care for their child, they could give the baby life. And extend the greatest gift possible to people who long to share their hearts and lives with a child.
Changing the heart and will of society begins with small steps. Let it begin with you. Love....
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